


New Beginning

by EvergreenHRC



Category: Billary - Fandom, Political RPF, Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvergreenHRC/pseuds/EvergreenHRC
Summary: Divorced psychiatrist Hillary Rodham finds a new fresh start with her son in Arkansas when a new high profiled patient tests her in ways she never knew were possible.





	1. The End

She just got back from her vacation that she took after her divorce was finalized. She allowed her now ex-husband to take their son while she was away, she wanted to make sure that they would always have father son time.

To be fair he was a good father just a horrible husband, he never respected her and the moment she literally caught him with his mistress in their bed she honestly wasn't even mad or surprised. _'_

_Oh, don't bother getting up Matthew or even trying to make an excuse. I'm just going to pack some things for me and Daniel and then I'll head to my parents.' She looked at the woman that was in her bed who looked mortified and angry all rolled into one. 'I'm guessing he never told you he was married did he?' The woman just simply shook her head no. 'Don't be to embarrassed dear, your not the first one he didn't reveal that small little fact too.' The woman just placed her face in her palms._

_'Hillary it's not at all what it looks like, I swear.' Matthew getting out of bed and putting his boxers back on. She just folded her arms and shook her head. 'Matthew your in my bed naked with a woman, how is that not what it looks like? Did you accidentally trip and your clothes magically fell off before your dick accidentally went inside her?' Hillary actually started laughing at this, she couldn't believe that her husband who is one of Chicago's top neurosurgeons was actually trying to get her to believe she didn't just walk in on him fucking another woman._

_'Honey, I swear it didn't mean anything.' This was not the first time she heard that excuse but it would most certainly be the last. 'Matthew you are a piece of work, how could you honestly insult this lovely young lady, who I'm sure is a nurse at the hospital like that? She believed your bullshit, you know the same lines you use on all of them to get in their pants.' He tried to reach out and stop her from packing but she quickly yanked herself away from him. Now she was beyond mad._

_'How dare you touch me with those filthy hands, we are finished. I should have ended this sooner, but just like all those other naive women I believed your lies. Well not anymore, I'm taking Daniel and I don't ever want to hear from you or see you again.' She placed the last of her the things she wanted to take in her bag before she would go to her son's room. She pulled her 5 carat diamond ring and wedding band off her finger and put it on the high dresser. 'All of our communications will be through our lawyers.' She left the room and slammed the door._

She knocked on the door of her former home. A long legged, long reddish brown haired woman answered the door. 'Hi Hillary! How was the vacation?' Her name was Giselle and she was the new girlfriend in her ex's life, Hillary actually liked her, she was very sweet and so very caring to her and Daniel. 'It was incredible, I forgot how much I loved the warmth and the sound of the ocean.' They both laughed. 'Is Matthew home?' Hillary had something to tell him but she really wasn't sure how he would react to this news. 'Yes, he just got home from picking Daniel up from school. Come in please.' Hillary entered into the massive foyer that she used to come home to every night for 7 years, she heard from the distance the sound of a 5 year old running toward her. Her beautiful boy, the spitting image of her, blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. 'Mommy! Mommy! You are home!' He was so excited he literally leapt into her loving arms. 'Yes I am my sweet boy! Oh, I missed you so so much! Were you good for daddy and Giselle? Because if you weren't they will tell me and there will be no ice cream later.' She looked into his eyes that mirrored her own. 'I promise mommy I was a very good boy, I even ate all the green yucky stuff Giselle put on my plate for dinner.' She laughed and looked at Giselle. 'He was a very good boy indeed Hillary, we even learned a little bit about dinosaurs.' Hillary tilted back to look at Daniel, 'You did?' Daniel nodded his head yes.

'Hello Hillary.' Matthew entered the foyer. 'Hello Matthew.' That's what they were reduced to, simple pleasantries. 'Matthew I need to speak to you, if that is okay?' Matthew just nodded, he turned to his girlfriend. 'Honey, can you help Daniel get the last of his stuff together please?' She kissed Matthew on the cheek and Hillary leaned down to release her son. 'You go help Giselle okay, while mommy and daddy talk for a bit.' Daniel nodded and kissed his mother.

'Let's head into the study.' Matthew said while lifting his arm to allow her to go first. The entered the room and he shut the door. 'What did you need to talk to me about.' He walked around her and toward his desk where he leaned up against it. 'I've received a job offer.' She began. 'That is great news Hillary, you've been trying to get out of Ben's crazy practice for a while now. I swear the people he treats are beyond the pale of odd.' She chuckled a bit, when they first got married she had just began practicing psychiatry and the only job she could get was where she wound up staying for seven years, but she was out growing it. She was becoming a rising star and her talents were beginning to get national attention in the mental health community. 'Ben has been an amazing mentor but you know I've been seeking something more.' Matthew nodded and did the trademark doctor fold arms gesture. 'Well here is why I wanted to speak with you. The job offer is in Arkansas.' Matthew continued to listen. 'I've been asked to go down there and work with young women who have been sexually assaulted and young woman who are trying to leave abusive partners. It is a wonderful opportunity for me, but it would mean Daniel and I moving down there. I don't want you to lose time with him but I want to do this, I feel a calling to help these women.' Matthew was silent for a bit, she wasn't frustrated or anything, she knew him, she knew he needed to process the information. Typical surgeon. After a few more minutes of silence he finally broke it. 'It sounds like an amazing opportunity for you Hillary, and it will be good for Daniel. To see new places and new cultures, we can make it work on my weekends.' She just smiled. 'You were born to help people Hillary, no matter where they are in the world. You can't pass this up.' She felt a little emotional, he did always believe in her abilities. 'Thank you Matthew, that means a lot to me. They need me down there by the end of the month, so if Giselle and you are alright with it until we leave I was thinking you could have Daniel every weekend until then. This way I can pack and I'll need to head down there to find a place.' 'Of course Hillary anything Giselle and I can do to help we will.'

She explained to Daniel that night while they ate dinner together what new adventures they were about to embark on together, he was very excited.

She was now ready to begin the next chapter of her life.


	2. Arkansas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hillary and Daniel have settled into Arkansas quite well and her practice is really going well. But her life is about to turn down a road she never expected to go.

She and Daniel had settled in quite nicely to their new lives in Arkansas. It had been over a year since Hillary made the decision to come down to the small state and she did not regret it in the least. She was so used to city living being born and raised in Chicago and then settling there with her ex husband that it was a bit of an adjustment to her at first. Not for Daniel, he took to Arkansas right away. Going out into the woods and finding little snakes and bringing them home to his mother who was not at all pleased, but when you have a son, it's to be expected and little by little she got used to it.

The house she purchased was a adorable old Victorian style home that needed some work and she loved remodeling it to fit her and Daniel. The neighbors were so friendly and every Saturday they would bring over a large pitcher of lemonade and sit on the large wrap around porch while their children played together. She bought a hammock for the back yard where she would swing and relax on either by herself or with Daniel, often they would look up at the big puffy clouds and call out what they saw. 'Look mommy that one is definitely a triceratops.' He was still fascinated with dinosaurs and she got him every book she could on the subject. His room was redone in a dinosaur theme and she found out through one of the neighbors that there was even a Dinosaur Nation Park not to far.

Her job was very fulfilling as well, helping so many young women who had been violated in such a traumatic way and so many women who were in abusive relationships really helped give her life a new purpose. Helping others was truly in her blood, she never turned anyone away. She did a lot of counseling for free to so many of the women who used the little money they had saved to escape their abusive partners. Not as charity, but because they needed everything they had to start over no matter how difficult the obstacles in front of them seemed.

As promised they made Matthew's weekends with Daniel work, it was rocky at first but now they had a perfect rhythm. Every other weekend either Giselle or Matthew would fly down to pick him up and head back to Chicago and then Hillary would fly up to get him.

Her life was perfect, her career, her beautiful house, her amazing son... but something was missing. A companion. She had gone on a few dates but none of the men had really grabbed her attention and after what she went through with Matthew she wanted true love, not just to settle. And she was starting to just feel it was never going to happen for her... when one day a visitor to her office would change all of that.

  
Hillary was sitting at her desk at her practice when her secretary had knocked on her door. "Dr. Rodham? There is a woman standing out here who does not have an appointment but she is insistent on speaking with you." Gerry her incredible middle aged secretary had explained with the door shut and her back to it. "Gerry did she say what it was about?" "No ma'am just that she needed to meet with you right away." Hillary thought perhaps it was a social worker about one of her patients. "Give me a few moments then please see her in, thank you Gerry."

Hillary finished writing some notes for a study she was working on for a magazine to publish when she heard Gerry knock again. "Come in, please." Gerry opened the door and allowed the woman entry into her bosses office. Hillary stood up from her chair and straightened her suit jacket and came around the desk to meet the woman. "Dr. Rodham, my name is Betsey Wright. Thank you so much for taking the meeting on such short notice." She extended her hand to Hillary and she took it. "Of course Ms. Wright, what is it that I can do for you?" Hillary motioned for the woman to sit down while she went around to her desk and sat in her chair. As the woman sat she began. "Dr. Rodham, what I'm about to tell you is highly sensitive and it cannot leave the walls of this room. I'm the chief of staff to the Governor of Arkansas and I'm here to ask you for your help." Hillary was a bit taken a back that the governor of the state's right hand man or in this case woman was asking for her help.

"Of course Ms. Wright it will go no further than the two of us." Hillary said in the utmost importance. "What can I do for the Governor?" Betsey had to approach this delicately. "Dr. Rodham, the Governor is dealing with some personal issues, issues isn't exactly the right term, they are more like demons. He just won reelection after losing his previous reelection bid a few years ago. We, mostly his close friends began to notice he wasn't himself after the loss and he began to go down a troubling dark path. I'm not quite sure how to say this delicately so I'll just come right to the point. He has been using sex to hide his pain on many levels. We don't want his philandering to interfere with his work and we don't want scandals to halt his progress. Dr. Rodham he is a good man by all accounts but he is a private person and rarely speaks of the pain he has had to endure in his life."

Hillary sat there speechless and somewhat stunned but she is a professional and her job is to help, any way she can. "What can I do to be of service Ms. Wright?" Betsey almost breathed a sigh of relief when Hillary asked her that question. "Dr. Rodham, we would like for you to be a counselor to him, hopefully help him to open up and help him to stop his destructive behavior. Before you ask your next question, yes he knows I'm here. We essentially had an intervention with him and he agreed to seek professional help. You came highly recommend and when the Governor saw what you've been doing with your practice you were the one he chose."

"I'm honored that he would consider me for this task." Hillary was kind of proud that the Governor knew of her work, she wasn't arrogant about it but yet it still made her feel special. Betsey interrupted her thoughts. "So you will do it?" Hillary thought for a moment and there was a odd silence in the room before she spoke.

"Yes, anything I can do to help the Governor, I will do it. But he won't be able to come here to my office, it wouldn't be silent for long. How do you propose we go about this?" Betsey again breathed a sigh of relief. "We have thought about that already Dr. Rodham, if you can we would like you to start tonight and you can do the sessions with him at the Governor's Mansion. We will send a car for you tonight and you'll start around 8." Hillary began to now realize how serious and important this was.

"Tonight at 8 shouldn't be an issue." Hillary said.

Betsey stood up to leave. "Thank you Dr. Rodham, I've known the Governor for a long time and I worry about him. He is like a brother to me and I have to do whatever I can to help him." Hillary stood up to walk Betsey to the door. "I understand completely and I am truly honored and happy to help in any way I can." Hillary opened the door and walked her to the elevator and shook her hand. No words were spoken, once Betsey was in the elevator and door closed Hillary turned to Gerry.

"Gerry could I ask you a huge favor?" Hillary said to her loyal secretary. "Of course ma'am, anything." She smiled at her. "Could you come over tonight and watch Daniel for a little while? I have an important appointment." Gerry nodded, "Of course."

The car to pick her up arrived promptly and she was escorted into the back by 2 out of uniform State Troopers, the car pulled into the mansion and she was lead into the main entry way and told to wait. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit nervous, she turned to look at a beautiful Mark Rothko painting hanging in the main foyer when a low southern voice appeared behind her.

"Good evening Dr. Rodham."

She turned and there he was, in blue jeans, black penny loafers and a navy blue long sleeved shirt. Her breath was taken away, he was even more handsome in person and his low key attire made him look more realistic. She could feel herself getting flushed but she tried with all her might to push it aside, she was there for business and she needed to maintain her professionalism. She walked toward him, briefcase in hand and extended her right hand to him.

"A pleasure to meet you Governor Clinton." The delicate smile on her face made that clear.

He reached his long deft hand to meet hers and gently took her hand in his, it fit so perfectly into his. He felt it. The moment he touched her, he felt the universe stop. She was incredibly beautiful to him, shoulder length butter blonde hair, blue eyes that literally tore through him and soft delicate skin that felt amazing under his touch.

"Dr. Rodham how about we go into the den and begin. Can I get you something to drink, tea, water?" He asked, like a proper southern gentleman.

"Yes, thank you Governor. I would like some water." Her mouth was watering but she needed something, anything to help her now raging nerves.

"Please, this way. And you can call me Bill." He said with a smile that literally made her body shiver.

She thought that this is going to be a very interesting first session to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter!! I'm having fun developing this story!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and kind comments!!  
> You guys rock!


	3. First Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first therapy session begins!

She stood there alone in his study just waiting for him to return with her glass of water and to begin their first session. She tried to pull herself together as best as she could, but it was going to be difficult. She was not prepared for how handsome he was and she surely wasn't prepared for being instantly attracted to him. However she had to push that all aside and morph into professional mode or else she would be of no help to him.

As the Governor poured her glass of cool water he couldn't shake the feelings his mind and body were having. She was stunning, she was radiating a light inside him he had never felt before. He knew these sessions would be important for him, he would have to finally put words to pain he had never spoken about to anyone, but he couldn't pretend the attraction to her wasn't there. He promised Betsey that he would commit to this all the way, he needed to heal the deep wounds inside himself so he would have to be professional and stay committed to these sessions. 'But that smile.' He thought before he left the kitchen to return to his guest in the study.

She found a chair to sit down on, she took out her yellow legal pad, a pen and put her glasses on. She wanted to be ready to begin once he came back into the room.

The room was a typical study, deep Mahogany wood shelves, a brown leather sofa, and a few arm chairs. She opted for the arm chair to sit in.

Bill came into the room with the glass of water in hand and he was met with an even more beautiful sight then what had met him in the foyer just a few moments ago and he was sure his heart had jumped out of his chest. Stunning! That was all he could conjure up in his mind. Simply stunning.

"My apologies Dr. Rodham for taking so long." He placed her glass down on the table next to her.

"No need to apologize Gover... sorry Bill, no need for apologies."

"So I'm a bit new at all of this, do I lay on the couch or how exactly does this all work?"

"Bill I would like for you to be and feel as comfortable as possible, if you prefer the couch, a chair or too stand. I want for you to be as comfortable and relaxed as you can be."

His thoughts betrayed him a bit when she said that, in all honesty he'd like to be comfortable with her in bed.

"I think I would prefer to sit in the chair next to you for right now."

He sat in the arm chair beside her.

"Excellent. Now I don't want to alarm you but I will be jotting down notes here and there, it's mostly for me to refer back to in the event you're in the middle of a thought or memory. I also want to assure you that I take very seriously the doctor patient privilege and these notes will never be shared with anyone."

He didn't have to ask about the notes, he knew she would be discreet and professional, but he found comfort in her explaining the process to him.

"Thank you Dr. Rodham, I appreciate you telling me that. So how do we start?"

"We start however and wherever you feel comfortable. We can begin with how your day went, we can begin with a story of your childhood, really anywhere you wish to."

He liked how at ease she made him feel, he got to dictate the pace of opening up, he got to chart his own healing. That was important to him.

"Well I suppose we could talk about how my day was. Some people often feel that being the Governor is mostly ceremonial things, ribbon cutting, and the like but it's so much more than that. State budget, working on raising standards in our schools, trying to get more healthcare to more people that so desperately need it. It's never ending."

"Do you often feel overwhelmed?"

"I do sometimes, but, I love helping people. I love problem solving. I see an issue and I try to see every side of the argument before trying to devise a strategy and then a plan."

"So what so far has been the biggest challenge for you so far as Governor?"

"Education."

He didn't even hesitate with the answer.

"When I took office the fist time 4 years ago our schools were ranked in the bottom half of the country, in the 2 years I was not Governor we sunk to dead last. It's frustrating because I loved the education I got here when I was young and too see us fall so far so quickly is worrisome."

"So you are a native Arkansan?"

"Oh yes, I was born and raised in Hope, Arkansas. It's a wonderful town but I almost wasn't going to be raised there."

"Why not?"

Hillary casually began jotting notes, knowing that she had eased the conversation enough to provoke a memory, she wasn't expecting what he said next.

"My mother and biological father were ready to settle just outside of Chicago."

Hillary peeked up a bit at him.

"My mother was 7 months pregnant with me, they were preparing to settle down in Chicago after the war. My mother returned to Arkansas because she wanted to give birth to me here. My father had some business to finish up and then he was going to join mother here until after I was born." Bill paused a moment, here comes the first piece of his painful puzzle. "While he was driving down to be with my mother until after I arrived he got into a car accident in Missouri...". This pause was more than trying to regain composure. "They found him in a water filled ditch... he had drowned."

Hillary wanted to cry. She kept taking notes and letting him continue.

"So mother after that decided to stay in Hope, give birth to me. As a widow."

She realized that this was the first part of his struggle, this dark memory of his life of a father he never knew. She wanted to make this session and a few to come about this memory.

"Bill, tell me how they met."

She was now trying to find the trigger point, by having him tell the story of his parents beginning she was hoping for a moment where Bill would reveal the start of his internal silent pain. He spoke and told stories for about an hour more when he finally got to the start.

His legs crossed, hands folded in front of his chest, he was extremely relaxed.

"Well mother wanted to expand her knowledge and career, so she decided to go to New Orleans to study and train to become a nurse anesthetist. It would mean earning more money for us. So I was about 3 she had me stay with my grandparents while she went away to school."

Before he continued, she knew they had come to the memory. She didn't think they'd get to it this quickly in there sessions.

"It's my first vivid memory. I can remember standing on the train platform after she hugged and kissed me, crying as I watched her move farther and farther away."

There it is! She thought we have come to it! But that was all for tonight, she couldn't let him go any farther. He had to allow that memory to wash over him and linger there until there next session.

"Well I think this is a good place for us to stop tonight, we can pick up from here at the next session. Which I believe will be, let me see here what night I'm free... Wednesday, 2 days from now."

Bill was a bit caught off guard, why was their session over? They only just started.

"Dr. Rodham we only just started, shouldn't we keep going?"

"No Governor, we need to take this process slow, we can't force it. In order to deal with all that has happened to you, we need to open the wounds let the air hit them and start to heal them. Plus, I need to get home to tuck my son into bed." She smiled while putting her legal pad, pen and glasses back into her briefcase.

_'She has a son?'_ Bill thought with intrigue.

"How old is your son?"

She tilted her head up to look at him in the other chair and smiled. She beamed when talking about Daniel, her sweet sweet boy.

"He just turned 6, and he's always on the go. The first week after we had moved down here, he brought me home several snakes from his outdoor adventures. ". She let out a big laugh.

Bill was never more in love with a laugh in his life.

Bill let out a soft laugh himself.

"Ahh yes, the right of passage of all children in Arkansas. Bringing a snake home, I used to bring them home to my grandmother. What's his name?"

"Daniel."

He saw her glow when she said his name, and he was not sure why but something was telling him that he needed to know her more.

"Well Dr. Rodham please give Daniel my apologies for keeping you so late."

She stood up and they both began to walk to the foyer.

"Thank you, I will let him know. I will see you again on Wednesday, you can have Ms. Wright call my office to set up a time that would be best for you."

They stopped just before the door, the non uniform state troopers were ready to escort her out and back into the car to take her home. The next thing happened so quickly, neither tried to stop it and neither tried to protest it. Bill reached down for her hand and brought it up to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand, so soft and delicately. She blushed instantly.

"I look forward to Wednesday Dr. Rodham."

"Me too, Governor."

He released her hand and out the door she went and into the car. He stood at the window watching the car leave the grounds and his heart thudded.

In the car she was covering the back on the hand Bill had kissed, almost like she was trying to preserve his lips there. She was filled with warmth, she hadn't felt like this in well to be honest with herself ever. Matthew never gave her feelings like this.

As the two reflected separately... neither realized that a force beyond them both had already began its magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm going to be having way to much fun writing these sessions. I wanted to start out light and give you a feel them.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the update!!
> 
> Hugs to you all.


	4. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a really cute little fluff filler chapter.

He was walking around in such an upbeat and chipper mood, the people around the mansion and at the office were a little... well, freaked out. He was always smiling and laughing but this was very very different. They hadn't seen him this happy, and they all were pondering what was going on with him.

 

She exited the elevator at her practices floor and she was glowing, there was no other word for it. Her smile was radiating a beautiful aura around her, she was in such a great mood. And it did not go unnoticed by Gerry, as she stood to hand Hillary her messages that morning. "Well you seem to have a pep in your step this morning Dr. Rodham." Gerry just smiled, she didn't know where the doctor had gone the night before but when she returned home she was smiling widely.  
"Oh, I do Gerry. It is a beautiful day outside and this morning Daniel and I had breakfast on the porch and the birds were singing." Gerry reached out her hand to hand over Hillary's messages. "Here are your message Dr. Rodham and there was a hand delivered message this morning, a nice young man arrived and said it was urgent." Hillary looked at the envelop that read; 'Dr. Rodham, open immediately'. She stared at it knowing exactly who it was from but she wasn't 100% sure, but she quirked a smile nonetheless. Gerry just rose a curious eyebrow at her to which Hillary was totally oblivious too.

 

"Doctor your first appointment is at 10am, would you like a hot tea?" Gerry trying to snap her out of staring at the envelop. Hillary began to walk to her office door, opened it and began walking through never taking her eyes off it. "Yes, Gerry thank you a hot tea would be wonderful." And she closed the door behind her. She walked over to her desk sat her briefcase down in her usual spot on the floor, then sat in her chair crossed her legs and began to open the letter. She unfolded it and marveled at the beautiful penmanship of the writer. She sat back in her chair and began to read.

 

_Dr. Rodham,_  


_I just wanted to personally thank you for last night and let you know how much I truly enjoyed our first session. I looked forward to the next one, I must tell you that even though it was only one session, I feel lighter than I have in years. I do hope this note isn't inappropriate but I just wanted to really thank you for agreeing to help me, I was very rude last night in not saying that to you face to face._  


_I was wondering if you would be attending the Annual Little Rock Carnival, they have a watermelon eating contest and it is tradition that the Governor competes and I would really like to see you there. The games and rides are a lot better this year and perhaps your son would enjoy coming as well. Saturday is the contest and the best night for the fireworks._  


_I just again wanted to express my gratitude to you for agreeing to take me on as a new patient, I am sure your schedule is pretty jam packed as it is. Anyway, I hope to see you at the Carnival and if not I look forward to next week's session._

_Sincerely,_  
_William J. Clinton_

 

 

He sent the letter as a sort of bait, he wanted to see if she would be compelled to send one back. He was trying to be old fashion and essentially court her. She was not like the other women he had been with, that was all just sex, physical, nothing more. But she however, she was more and he knew it the moment his eyes met hers. Something about her was different, it was radiant, it was like the beacon of light in a lighthouse that lead the ships through the fog. He was the ship and his demons were the fog and she was the way home. He couldn't explain it, but then again we should never question fate. He sat at his desk hoping for one of two things to happen, either she would call him and accept his invitation or if she was old fashion like him... she would respond with a note herself. He was sure it would be the latter.

 

As she finished reading it she had an even bigger smile on her face and her cheeks were as rosy as could be. Gerry knocked on the door then entered with her tea. "Here you go Dr. Rodham." She eyes Hillary yet again and she knew from the twinkle in her eyes that Hillary was without a doubt smitten and in love. "Thank you Gerry. You said my first appointment is at 10?" She looked up from the note. "Yes Dr. Rodham, it is Mrs. Rhodes." Hillary just nodded, and then she went on an impulse, a gut feeling or an even higher power giving her the push. "Gerry, I need for you to call a messenger over right away. I will have an important and urgent letter to be delivered." Okay, so wait now Gerry was totally confused. Why would she need to send an urgent message, she didn't seem like the note or whatever she was reading was a very serious matter, but she would never question Hillary. She loved working for her and Hillary was an amazing boss to her. "Right away doctor." "Thank you so much Gerry."

 

She took out her stationary and began her response.

 

 

_Dear Bill,_

_It was so extremely wonderful to receive your letter this morning when I arrived at my office. It was a very beautiful gesture and it truly touched my heart. I am so very happy and honored that you would choose me and trust me enough to help you go through this healing process. I am also very happy to hear that you feel better after the first session, that is important but also remember we have a lot more work to do and you sometimes won't always feel this light and happy. We will have to at some point travel to deep dark places buried deep within to really let the healing fully penetrate you._

_I am also so honored that you would invite myself and my son Daniel to watch you compete in the Annual Watermelon Eating Contest. It sounds like it will be a lot of fun and we would very much enjoy watching you compete in such a time honored tradition, and you are right he would very much enjoy the rides and fireworks._

_I looked forward very much to seeing you there and also at our next session._

_With the kindest regards,_  
_Dr. Hillary Rodham_

 

 

She folded the letter and sealed it in an envelop and walked out of her office, the young man who was the messenger arrived just as she walked out. "Good morning Ma'am." The messenger approached her. "Good morning to you as well." Hillary answered. "You have a priority letter for me to deliver?" "Yes, please make sure (She turned the envelop so that only she and the messenger could see it, Gerry was watching carefully.) this is delivered as soon as possible. It is very important it is delivered to the right person." The young man saw who it was going to and to be honest he knew exactly where he had to go, he has had to deliver many things to the Governor's office at the State House. Hillary handed him a ten dollar bill for his extra trouble. "Right away ma'am." He took the letter and walked back into the elevator and off he went to deliver the "important letter". "Gerry, could you clear my schedule for Saturday please, I am going to be taking Daniel to the Little Rock Carnival." Gerry was trying to remain normal, but boy oh boy was her curiosity high. "Of course Dr. Rodham, it shouldn't be a problem. You only had one appointment scheduled." Hillary smiled at her and placed her hand on Gerry's arm. "Thank you Gerry, I don't know what I would do without you." Hillary went back into her office.

 

The young messenger had arrived at the State House and made his way to the secretary of the Governor. "Excuse me ma'am, I have an urgent letter to be delivered to the Governor." "Thank you very much, Ryan. The Governor was expecting this letter." The woman took the letter from the young man and off he went. She went to the door and knocked.

 

"Come in."

 

The door opened and the woman stepped inside.

 

"Governor. This urgent letter has just arrived for you by messenger."

 

Bill smiled... he knew it! She was old fashioned and he absolutely loved it.

 

"Thank you Nancy."

 

He stood up and took the letter from her.

 

"Sir did you need anything?"

 

"Yes, Nancy I need those revised budget numbers when you get a moment."

 

"Right away Governor."

 

Nancy left the room and his heart was beating so hard and so fast. He sat in his chair and opened the letter and began to read it. The biggest smile slowly appearing on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support of my writings. Big giant cyber hugs to you all!!!


	5. Watermelons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Little Rock Carnival has arrived and Daniel is very excited about it. However before he gets to enjoy it they get to see the Governor compete in the Annual Watermelon Eating Contest.

Saturday morning Daniel had awoken early, much like he did every Christmas morning with the palpable excitement of the day ahead. Hillary had told him last night about going to the Carnival, his eyes got so big while he ate his dessert. "Mommy, what kind of rides will they have?" "Do you think they will have a dinosaur ride?" "What time will the fireworks start?" So many questions from her very curious and now very excited little man.

Daniel sat up in his bed, he had his favorite stuffed animal with him as always, Wilbur the stuffed brontosaurus he got at Dinosaur National Park. "Wilbur, I don't think mommy will let me bring you today. But I'm going to ask." He gave Wilbur a big hug and they both exited the bed on a mission.

He slowly approached his mother's bedroom like he was an explorer trying to find an elusive rare animal. He poked his head around the door opening and saw his mother still sound asleep. He approached slowly and cautiously, not to frighten the rare animal. But what the little explorer didn't know was that the rare animal was only pretending to be asleep, once the little explorer approached however she would attack.

Slowly around the bed the little explorer moved he had to be careful not to make a single sound or else he risked losing this chance. He got closer to his target, he clutched Wilbur tightly and in that brief moment he let his guard down. Without warning Hillary lifted up and grabbed her little explorer and squeezed him tightly and fell back onto the bed both them giggling. Hillary kissed his face profusely and Daniel had a full belly laugh. "Mommy! Mommy! Stop it your tickling me." "Oh am I? Well then little explorer prepare yourself for more tickles!" Finally Hillary stopped because her sides hurt from laughing so much.

"All right my little explorer how about some breakfast then a bath so we can get ready for the Carnival?" Daniel nodded as he jumped down off the bed. "Mommy can Wilbur come with us to the Carnival?" Hillary looked down at her son squeezing Wilbur tightly and she just smiled. "Sweetheart I think it's best if we leave Wilbur here just for safe keeping. We wouldn't want anything to happen to him now would we?" Daniel seemed a bit sad but then he felt better when Hillary expressed real concern for Wilbur's well being. "No mommy I don't want anything to happen to him. He's my best friend." "Good. Now let's go eat, my tummy is rumbling." And with that down to the kitchen they went to begin their day.

\----------------------

Bill like usual woke up early, got into his jogging gear and headed out for his daily run. Today however he was going to take a slightly different route. He was curious after receiving the return letter from Hillary so he may have found out where she lived. His plan was to jog by casually and if he saw her great if not he'd try again.

He made the turn down her street with the troopers following behind. He noticed a little blonde haired boy playing in the yard, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that boy was her son. Even from a far, he looked like a mini her. As Bill ran past the house the little boy smiled at him and waved, and Bill smiled and waved back.

\-----------------------

When Bill arrived at the Carnival he was a bit nervous and he was excited to see her, he couldn't help it.

Hillary and Daniel had arrived and his eyes were as big as saucers when he saw all the rides and games. "Mommy, look at that ride over there! Can we go on that one first?" He held on to her hand so tightly and was jumping up and down. "Yes sweetheart but first we are going to watch the Governor compete in the Annual Watermelon Eating Contest." Daniel scrunched his nose. "Eww, watermelons are yucky mommy." Hillary just laughed as they made their way over to the event area.

As they approached Betsey saw Hillary and approached. "Hello Dr. Rodham, we are so glad you could make it. And who might you be young man?" She looked down to address Daniel. "Hi, I'm Daniel Rodham and I'm 6 and a half." Hillary chuckled as did Betsey. "Well Daniel it's nice to meet you." She turned her attention back to Hillary. "Dr. Rodham the Governor had two seats reserved for you up front if you'll follow me."

Daniel and Hillary took their seats and a few minutes later the event began. A portly man took to the microphone.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Little Rock Carnival! (The people cheered.) Once again we are so grateful for such a wonderful turnout. Okay! So are you all ready to begin the Annual Watermelon Eating Contest? (Again the crowd cheered and Daniel scrunched his nose.)_

_Excellent! Let us meet the competitors!_

_Coming all the way here from Fayetteville we have Willy Meyers!_

_From right here in Little Rock, last years defending champion Benny Logan!_

_And returning after his historic election comeback Governor Bill Clinton!"_

All three men walked out onto the stage, she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was wearing jeans, cowboy boots, a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He looked so incredibly handsome at least to her. There was most definitely a sparkle in her eye, and unbeknownst to her Betsey had seen it. Bill saw her and made eye contact right away, she looked gorgeous.

"Mommy, mommy! I saw him!" Daniel was pulling on her jacket and she bent down to hear him. "What sweetheart?" "That man, I saw him today when I was outside playing with Wilbur." Hillary seemed confused, as Daniel pointed to Bill. "Sweetie that's the Governor, I don't think you've ever seen him." "Yes I did mommy, today he was running on the road in front of our house." Hillary looked up at Bill, he was smiling and waving to the crowd and her heart felt warm. "He waved at me mommy." She smiled.

_"Alright gentleman take your seats and get ready! The bucket next to you is for your seeds. You have 5 minutes to eat as much of the watermelon that is in front of you as you can, after the 5 minutes are up we will determine the winner."_

_With Bill's special quests in the audience he wanted to win, the last time he competed as Governor it was more for show but this time... he wanted to impress Hillary._

_"Put the 5 minutes on the clock. Ready... Set... GO!!"_

The sound of the bell echoed and off the three men went. Bill's plan was to eat large amounts but pacing himself. If he tried to eat to much to fast he wouldn't make it very long. The bib he was wearing was already coated in the juice of the watermelon but he was laser focused and determined to win this. Hillary at first was gleaming at Bill and then Daniel said, "Mommy I think the man over there might throw up." Pointing to Willy, Daniel's play by play was entertaining and Hillary was smiling and rubbing her son's head. Bill saw it out of the corner of his and his heart felt warm.

_"20 seconds to go!"_

Bill was now implementing the second part of the plan, in the final stretch just eat as fast as possible.

_"10 seconds left!"_

He was now just shoving watermelon into his mouth as fast as he could.

_"Times up!"_

The crowd was cheering like crazy, the men were finishing swallowing what they had still in their mouths. They stood up so the judges could figure out who won. After a few minutes the judges spoke with the announcer.

_"Folks we have a winner!"_

Daniel was on the edge of his chair he couldn't wait anymore.

_"Ladies and gentlemen for the first time in the Watermelon Eating Contest... the Governor is the winner!!!"_

Bill stepped up to the man shook his hand, smiled and waved to the crowd and then his eyes met hers again. The cosmic force that was happening between the two of them was not realized by anyone, but Betsey was starting to see it.

"Mommy?" Looking up at his mother. "Yes my little explorer?" Now her attention directly focused on her son.

"I think I want to eat some watermelon."

She stroked his head and kissed the top of and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really really hope you guys loved this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wanted to show more of the bond Hillary and Daniel have as well as start the old fashioned falling in love story between Hillary and Bill.
> 
> I'm having so much fun writing this fic and I really hope you all are loving it too.


	6. In The Tent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betsey confronts the Governor about his VIP guests at the Annual Watermelon Eating Contest.

Bill exited the competition stage and went back into a tent they had for him set up, he wanted to clean up as quickly as possible so he could go see Hillary and meet her son.

 

Changing his shirt Betsey had come in to talk to him, she knew this had to be delicate but she needed to address it now before someone got hurt.

 

"Bill."

 

"So how did it look Betsey? Did the crowd love it?"

 

"They sure did, you are now the talk of the Carnival. Funny because I don't remember you competing that seriously the last 2 times you did this event."

 

"Well what can I say Bets, I wanted to give the folks a good show."

 

She furrowed her brow, this wasn't going to be easy.

 

"You sure that's all it was Bill?"

 

"Yes, why?"

 

"It wasn't because of your special guests that were sitting in the front row?"

 

He looked at her suspiciously, and he knew she saw it in him. She was like his big sister and she could read him like a book.

 

"What are you implying Bets? If you have something to say to me than say it. Don't beat around the bush."

 

"Bill, she is your psychiatrist. We brought her in to help you, not for you to jump in her pants like the others."

 

Bill's face went red. She knew she went to far but she had to, she had to remind him why she was here.

 

"How dare you! You think I just want to screw every woman I meet? I have had issues in the past I won't deny that Betsey, but don't you dare accuse me of seeing a woman only as a piece of ass! I know she is my psychiatrist that was forced onto me by you and the rest of my advisors. Dr. Rodham is not some bimbo I'm trying to just fuck and run."

 

"Then what is going on Bill? I need to know so I can protect you and possibly protect her if it comes down to that."

 

He sighed. He wasn't sure himself what he was feeling for her, it was so many things all at once. He liked her very much and he wanted to know more about her, she was intelligent, beautiful, warm and so completely caring and unselfish. He never met a woman like her before.

 

"I can't explain it Bets, I like her. She is more than just some woman, she is special, she is different. I want to know her. I don't know how else I can explain it."

 

She tilted her head... Could it be? Could he have finally found the one to settle down with? She hoped he would just so he would stop the sleeping around but it never happened, now here she was wondering if fate had now intervened.

 

"You want to date her?"

 

"Yes, I really do. I've never met a woman like her Betsey."

 

"Bill, listen to me. You must take it slow, she has a child and as a single mother she will protect that boy at all costs. You might have to push your feelings for her down for a while until she can figure out what is causing you to go from woman to woman... and also when she is no longer your therapist."

 

"How do I do that Betsey? I briefly touched her hand the other night and it sent an amazing shock through my body. I feel it Bets she is special."

 

"You have to try for now Bill. Please try and trust me, this is for both your sakes."

 

Bill nodded as he finished fastening his buttons on his shirt. This was going to be the most difficult thing he would need to do.

 

"Alright Bill, get out there and show your special guests around the Carnival. Remember we have an early morning budget meeting."

 

"Got it."

 

He turned to leave the tent, but turned back to his friend.

 

"Betsey?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Thank you."

 

She smiled and with that he left the tent in search of his two very important guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, wanted to set up a little dynamics between Bill and Betsey before we venture into Bill and Hillary development.
> 
> The chapter is short for two reasons 1. Dragging out this back and forth with them I think would have been way to much. 2. I'm super tired and about fall asleep lol. Working 7 days a week for the last 2 1/2 months has been very tough.
> 
> Also, on a personal note. I write fanfics because I like the ideas of placing Bill and Hillary in different places and AU's. They may not seem like who they really are at times because this is fiction and how I see them as those characters. In my James Bond style story, Hillary is in my head as the character a nerdyish version. Writing these fics believe it or not has helped me get over the depression I felt after the election as did reading many of the talented writers on here. We are trying to give you a great story to read and too honor two people we truly admire. 
> 
> With all that being said I wanted to dedicate this fic to one of my favorite writers in the Billary fic world who has been bullied by people who don't understand what fiction is. She is an amazing writer and she took down a story I was truly enjoying because of very harsh words. She was allowing us to see her talented gift. This is for you TinyTeaPot! Don't let the jealousy of a few silence your incredible talent!   
> Love Trumps Hate


	7. Daniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Governor meets Hillary's son officially and they bound quickly.   
> (This is more character development before I take the story deeper between Bill and Hillary.)

Hillary and Daniel were sitting in the chairs waiting for the Governor to come out after the competition, it was taking a little longer than Daniel was okay with. He was to excited to go on the rides and play all the games, and he just was not being a very patient little boy right now.

 

"Mommy, when can we go on the rides?" Hopping on and off the chair.

 

"Daniel, what did mommy say about being a good boy today? I know you are excited but remember we were special guests of the Governor and we were asked to wait a moment for him. It wouldn't be good manners if we just went off. The rides are still going to be there when we are done." Hillary was stern but not coldly, she knew Daniel would be too fidgety and she had to make sure he understood that patience was a virtue. Also in the South, things tend to move a bit slower than every where else and she loved it.

 

"I am sorry mommy." He sat back on the chair and relaxed a bit and Hillary gave him a kiss on the top of his head.

 

Bill finally made his way around the stage and saw the two of them sitting there waiting for him, he positively hated to keep them waiting. As he saw them there a wave of feeling came over him, you could say it was like a premonition of sorts but he caught a glimpse of a future... with them, a warm feeling enveloped his body. Hillary turned her head and notice that Bill was approaching. She smiled wide and stood up, which caused Daniel to follow her.

 

"I am so terribly sorry for keeping you waiting Dr. Rodham, I had to change my shirt. Things got a bit messy up there." He looked deep in her eyes, extended his hand to her and he saw it... his future in her eyes.

 

"Oh it was quite alright Governor." She smiled and blushed like she was a young lady in high school, she couldn't explain the feelings that were coming over her. No one had made her feel this way before.

 

"And who might this handsome young man be?" Bill felt the tension between them and quickly wanted to ease it.

 

"Governor this is my son, Daniel." She put her hands on Daniel's shoulders as he stood in front of her. Daniel was staring at Bill, kind of like a child that sees a super hero for the first time up close. Eyes wide and mouth open slightly.

 

Bill knelt down to Daniel's level and put his hand out for the boy to take. "It's nice to meet you Daniel."

 

Daniel was starstruck, here in front of him was the man who just one the contest and the man who waved to him as he jogged by their house earlier. "Hello, I'm Daniel Rodham and I'm 6 and a half." He shook Bill's hand and Bill smiled.

 

"Are you really?" Bill asked.

 

"Yes sir, and I have a best friend named Wilbur. But mommy said I couldn't bring him today." He tilted his head down and Bill looked up at Hillary a bit confused, she just smiled and laughed.

 

"Wilbur is his stuffed dinosaur, I thought it was best to keep Wilbur safe and sound at home so we wouldn't lose him." Hillary explained to Bill, and Bill smiled and nodded.

 

"Well I think your mama was smart to keep Wilbur safe at home, you wouldn't want anything to happen to your best friend now would you?" Bill looked back at Daniel.

 

"No way." Then Daniel motioned for Bill to come closer so he could whisper in his ear. "He needs a bath too, he is very dirty." Bill smiled, as did Hillary. She had been trying for weeks to get that dinosaur away from him to wash him but often times after she read to Daniel and would wait for him to fall asleep she herself would fall asleep and never get the toy into the washing machine.

 

"I think maybe you should give Wilbur to your mama and let her make sure he gets a proper dinosaur bath while you get one that way you both can be clean and handsome young men together." Daniel smiled at Bill, he liked him.

 

"What is a Governor? Mommy said you were the Governor." Daniel's now inquisitive mind was on the move.

 

"Well Daniel, I am sort of the head guy of the state. I make sure that the people of our state are protected, get to go to good schools and a bunch of other things." That was a harder question to answer than he thought, how does one explain being a Governor to a 6 year old.

 

"Like President Reagan? Mommy said he is the leader of our country."

 

"In a way yes, I am the kind of the President of the State, and every 2 years if I am lucky the people of the state will vote to keep me running it." Daniel put his hand on his chin, absorbing the new information he had just received. Then he whispered...

 

"Mommy doesn't like President Reagan."

 

Both Bill and Hillary laughed.

 

"Well Daniel, maybe one day you will be President." Bill began to stand up, but still looking at Daniel.

 

"No sir, Wilbur and I had already agreed to look for his family when we get bigger."

 

The laughing came so naturally, with every smile and laugh he shared with the two of them the more he felt he needed them in his life, permanently. He understood the trepidation that Betsey had and he understood he needed to go through the therapy it was important but Hillary Rodham and Daniel Rodham were making their way into his heart and his soul and he couldn't stop it from happening, and truth be told he didn't want to. However, Betsey was right, he needed to take it slow. After all this was his therapist and she was about to learn things about him that might turn her off from him, he worried about that now. When she learned of his troubled past and his womanizing would she be disgusted and turned off? There was also one more thing that nagged at him... What if she didn't see him the same way he saw her? What if she wasn't feeling the things he was feeling for her when they were in each other's presence?

 

These were things he would have to ponder on at another time and day, right now however... He wanted to make sure Daniel and Hillary had an amazing time at the Carnival.


	8. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill, Hillary and Daniel spend the day together at the Carnival and will the fireworks show prove to be more than just exploding colors in the sky?

"Mommy, no. Please I want to go the first one by myself." Daniel was incredulous, he wanted to prove he was a big boy that could do it by himself. That was very difficult for her. Her natural instinct was to always protect him, but she had to begin the process of learning to let him do things by himself.

 

"Alright sweetie but mommy and Governor Clinton will be right here watching you, okay?" Hillary sighed a bit, this would be a more difficult battle within her than she previously expected.

 

Bill had noticed it, her instinct to protect, much like a mother bear would with her cubs. He loved that, it showed him that this beautiful and smart woman would go to any links to protect and defend. He smiled watching Daniel climb into the seat of the Whirl-i-bird ride, the little miniature Hillary looked fearless.

 

"He is an amazing boy Dr. Rodham. So full of energy and life, and a pretty brilliant imagination." Bill still looking at Daniel before the ride began.

 

She looked at Bill's profile, like really looked at it and how he was looking at her son and she felt it. She couldn't explain it, it was lingering there like the sweet scent of a peach pie cooling on a window sill. He was so much more handsome like this, totally relaxed and his eyes were very beautiful. His broad frame might seem intimidating to some but to her it gave her chills.

 

"Thank you so much Governor, he is my world." Hillary turned to look at her son as he waved to them and the ride began. Her heart was in her throat.

 

He placed his hand on top of hers that was gripping the gate surrounding the ride.

 

"Don't worry Dr. Rodham, he is alright." He stared deeply into those crystal blue eyes and his heart damn near leaped from his chest.

 

His touch sent her to another place, it was as if time stood still. His hands were gentle and elegant but still manly. She was falling for him and she was falling hard.

 

"Bill." Her eyes looking up at his. The sound of his name coming from those lips, took his breath away. He decided right then and there... he would court her the old fashioned way. She was going to change his life and he knew it.

 

 

///////////

 

 

"Mommy, mommy did you see me?" Daniel was jumping up and down after he came off the ride.

 

"Yes, I saw! Did you have fun?" Hillary rubbed his head as he smiled up at her.

 

"Yep! Governor did you see?" He now turned to Bill.

 

"I most certainly did." He kneeled down again to be at Daniel's level. "You know Daniel my friends call me Bill and if it's ok with you I'd like very much for us to be friends. Would you like that?"

 

Daniel's eyes went wide and a huge smile appeared on his face.

 

"You want to be my friend?" Daniel had never been so excited, well not since he and Wilbur discovered the pond at the end of the creek that had some big fishes in it.

 

"Of course I do!" Bill said with a proud smile.

 

"Yes I do want to be your friend Bill, and Wilbur won't be jealous he will really like you."

 

"And I am sure I will like Wilbur too." Bill chuckled.

 

Hillary's heart warmed, to watch this important man, this handsome man, be so gentle and caring with her most important procession. She could tell his heart was good, she couldn't deny it any longer what her heart was feeling but he was still her patient and she knew she would have to push down those feelings.

 

That would prove to be a very difficult thing.

 

"Bill! Bill! Will you go on the swing ride with me?" Daniel asked now excited he had a new best friend.

 

Bill and Hillary had locked eyes and the tension was high. Bill then reluctantly looked away and back at Daniel.

 

"Absolutely! I was hoping you would want to go with me on the ride." Bill rubbed the top of Daniel's head before he stood back up. "But only if it's okay with your mama."

 

Daniel spun around quickly and looked at his mother with those blue eyes of his, almost pleading for her to say yes.

 

"Can Bill and I please go on the swing ride mommy?"

 

She smiled.

 

"Of course you can."

 

Without missing a beat Daniel grabbed Bill's hand and started to tug him in the direction of the ride.

 

 

////////////

 

 

The whole rest of the day and night Bill, Hillary and Daniel went on every ride, played so many of the games and talked and laughed. It was finally time for the fireworks to begin.

 

"Daniel are you ready to watch the fireworks?" Bill asked him while he had his hand on top of his head.

 

"Uh huh! I can't wait to see them!" Daniel was growing more and more attached to Bill by the second.

 

As the crowd began to gather Bill wanted to reach out and hold Hillary's hand but he relented. It was too soon, right now they were friends but if he went to fast he was fearful he might push her away. So he had to learn patience.

 

He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

 

"Follow me I know a spot that is less crowed where we will be able to see the show better."

 

The feeling of his lips close to her ear sent shivers down her spine, the closeness was almost too much. She smiled at him and he went down to Daniel.

 

"Come here sport, I'm going to take you and your mama to a better spot to watch the fireworks." Bill quickly picked Daniel up and raised him up over his head so he was on his shoulders. And together the three of them went off to an empty field right behind the funnel cake stand.

 

Bill had Daniel still on his shoulders as the fireworks began. The colors in the sky were beautiful and he couldn't help but steal glances at her profile while they watched them.

 

The light and colors illuminated off her face and his heart was racing.

 

She could feel him looking at her, she felt the tension rising even more prominently between them. It was hard to focus, it was hard to not reach for him, it felt like she was floating around him. She had never felt this way before, Matthew never stirred these feelings in her, she needed time to process what was happening to her.

 

Just before the fireworks were over she gently grazed her finger on his hand that was hanging at his side. Goosebumps engulfed his body, that light simply touch was pure heaven.

 

The show was over and the sound of the crowd applauding signaled the end of the night.

 

"Well Bill, we had a wonderful day with you. Can't thank you enough for spending the whole day with us." Hillary was staring in his eyes.

 

"You are most welcome, the Carnival is always one of the highlights of the year. How about you sport (Squeezing Daniel's leg that was still hanging over his shoulder.) did you have a good time?"

 

"The bestist, I can't wait to tell Wilbur all about it and about you." Right after Daniel let out a big yawn.

 

"Alright my little explorer, time to get you home and into bed." Hillary had moved in front of Bill and placed her hand on Daniel's leg, she was looking up at her son... Bill was lost. He now had an amazing angle of her beautiful pointed nose, her chin, her jawline and her exposed neck and he never in his whole life wanted to kiss something more. He had to snap back to reality and quickly or else it would be rather difficult to hide his noticeable arousal.

 

He pulled Daniel down from his shoulders.

 

"Would you like me to walk you to your car?"

 

"That would be nice thank you."

 

Hillary reached down for Daniel's hand and they began to walk toward the parking area. The funny thing was, his troopers that shadow him were never far behind the entire day but neither of them noticed. They could only notice each other everything else was background.

 

They reached Hillary's car and Bill opened the back door for Daniel to climb in. "Thank you Bill, maybe one day you can come over and Wilbur and I can show you the secret pond." Bill smiled and leaned down.

 

"I can't wait." Before Bill knew it Daniel had him in a big hug, Bill's heart was gone. Not only was he falling madly in love with this beautiful woman... her son was stealing his heart too.

 

"Bye Bill."

 

"See ya later kiddo."

 

"Daniel, seatbelt please."

 

"Yes mommy."

 

"Thank you sweetie."

 

Hillary shut the back car door and turned to Bill, totally and completely head over heels with this man. Today was incredible and she didn't want it to end.

 

"Thank you again for such an amazing day, it was a lot of fun."

 

"Hillary I'm so glad that both you and Daniel enjoyed the day. And trust me the pleasure was all mine, Daniel is a great kid and I had so much fun with him. Going back on all those rides brought me back, I felt like a kid again." He chuckled as did Hillary.

 

"I will see you at our next session then Bill." She smiled, to him it was the most beautiful smile and before he or she realized... Bill reached for her hand and brought the back of small, soft, delicate hand to his lips and kissed it. The blush spreading quickly through her face.

 

"I look forward to it Dr. Rodham."

 

He opened the car door for her and she slipped inside, she fastened her seat belt, started the engine and waved to Bill. But she didn't know how she just did all of that, because she was now well beyond Cloud Nine. Her face was flush, her skin was tingling, her head was spinning.

 

Betsey walked up next to Bill as he watched Hillary drive away.

 

"Betsey... I'm going to marry that woman. Please if you can get me the number for Gene the florist." Bill had stars exploding inside, he was falling deeply in love.

 

"Yes sir."

 

That night... in different beds... in different houses... mere blocks away... two people couldn't fall asleep because they were on each other's minds. The winds of fate were beginning to blow and the universe had begun it's magic.


	9. Deep Breath Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lead up to the 2nd session for Bill.

  

It seemed as though Wednesday took forever to come, both of them were nervous and eager for the 2nd of the Governor's sessions. After spending the day together at the carnival the magic between them was only building and growing.

That morning Hillary woke up early, took a shower, got dressed in a sexy power outfit, went to the kitchen to make Daniel's breakfast and then lunch for day camp. She heard the patter of his feet coming down the steps. "Mommy!"

"Good morning little explorer. Ready for your breakfast?"

Bare feet, dinosaur pajamas and of course Wilbur in tow as also he rubbed his eyes and nodded.

"Alright sleepy head go sit at the table and mommy will bring you your breakfast."

"Okay mommy."

They sat together eating their breakfast, since the carnival however a new item had been added to their menu... watermelon.

"Daniel, Ms. Gerry is going to be watching you tonight. I will pick you up from camp and then I have a session tonight."

"But mommy that's late."

"I know sweetheart but that is the only time mommy' patient can see her. I promise when I get home I will come and get you and Wilbur and you can snuggle with mommy in my bed. How does that sound?"

"That will be fun! But mommy we should probably give Wilbur a bath, he is starting to smell funny."

Hillary chuckled and put her hand on his head, smiling lovingly at her beautiful son. She didn't want Daniel to know that the client was Bill, she knew that if Daniel knew where she was going he would want to come along.

////////

After Hillary dropped Daniel at day camp she went to her office. As she stepped off the elevator a young man was standing in front of Gerry's desk holding a very large flower arrangement.

"Gerry do you have a secret admirer?" Hillary said as she approached the desk.

"No Dr. Rodham. They are for you." Gerry looked up at Hillary and smirked.

"Oh my." Hillary was a bit stunned.

"Here Randy, I'll take those for the Dr. let Gene know I said Hello."

"I well Gerry." The young man smiled at Gerry then turned to Hillary. "Good day to you ma'am." Hillary was still stunned, almost speechless, she knew exactly who those flowers were from and her heart began to race.

"Yes, good day to you too Randy. Here let me give you a little something for delivering the flowers." Hillary went to reach into her purse for her wallet.

"No, no Dr. Rodham. It's been taken care of." Randy nodded and turned to the elevator.

"Seems you're the one with the secret admirer doctor." Again Gerry quirked an eyebrow to Hillary.

Hillary's face went flush, she couldn't tell Gerry who she thought they may be from, so she tried to play it off.

"It's probably nothing Gerry, no reason to get at all excited." Hillary trying so desperately to hide her excitement.

Gerry knew Hillary all too well by now, she was a fantastic secretary for Hillary, you truly need to be in this type of environment. Gerry was also a friend, for Hillary to have the assistance of Gerry was invaluable.

"If you say so ma'am." Gerry just smiled, she didn't want to press her on it. If there was someone special in her life she was truly happy for her. She knew all about the difficult marriage she came from and she felt Hillary deserved to find someone to make her life full of happiness.

"What is my first appointment?" Hillary trying now to change the subject of the flowers she was now awkwardly holding.

"Mr. Dalton."

"Oh boy, well I better get ready then, Gerry can you grab me an extra box of tissues? He goes through them so quickly when he is here." Hillary turned to her office.

"Right away Dr. Rodham."

She sat the large arrangement down on the table behind her desk chair, right at the large window so the beautiful flowers would receive the sunlight they so desperately needed. She took the card that accompanied the flowers and began to read it.

'Dear Hillary,

I really enjoyed spending time with you and Daniel on Saturday, he is a terrific kid. I also had so much fun spending the day with you both. I hope you enjoy the flowers and I look forward to our session tonight.

-Bill'

He kept the card simple and short, he was hoping that his slow courting tactic was paying off. The flowers were also not just a 'Thank You' they were a metaphor for how delicate the situation was between them. He was determined however, this beautiful, smart, amazing woman was the one and he knew it deep down. Tonight he was going to get her to see him for more sessions a week, he needed to ramp up his master plan.

//////////

Hillary had finished with her patients and left the office to pick up Daniel from Day Camp. The two had eaten dinner and even Wilbur got his bath... finally. Gerry showed up and with that Hillary got into her car and made her way to the Governors mansion.

Bill was awaiting her arrival in his study, when the State Troopers at the gate informed him she had arrived he was almost as giddy as a school boy. Since the Carnival he couldn't wait to see her again, he had to be careful not to appear eager but he couldn't deny how much he missed those eyes and that radiant smile.

Hillary was welcomed inside by the mansions butler and shown into the same office they used for the first session. She sat in the same chair, pulled out her notepad, and began going over her notes from the first session. She was jotting down some notes when Bill entered the room.

"Good evening Dr. Rodham, I am so terribly sorry to keep you waiting." Bill was in a suit tonight and Hillary was having a hard time focusing. He looked amazing in casual clothes but to see his manly frame in a tailored suit was a sight to behold.

"No need to apologize Governor, you are a busy man." Hillary was flustered, she reached down deep to compose herself without any hint to Bill what was happening.

"State budget meetings are frustrating." He walked towards her to shake her tiny delicate hand. He then sat down in the chair next to her. "Did you get the flowers Dr. Rodham?"

"Yes, they are beautiful. Thank you so much for such a kind gesture." She was blushing now, she wasn't sure if Bill would bring up the flowers and when he did butterflies began to dance in her stomach.

Whether she knew it or not... Bill was trying to court her the old fashioned way, he understood Betsey's concerns but the heart wants what the heart wants. He was trying to be smart about it, however. Tonight he had a plan for his 2nd session, he was going to open himself up to his transgressions and after tonight she would begin to understand the demons Bill Clinton held inside. He decided that by getting out all this information early hopefully she wouldn't hold it all against him later, he was ready to atone for his sins.

"I'm glad you liked them Hillary. How is young Daniel?"

Small talk before he opens his sin box.

"He is wonderful thank you for asking, he is having a lot of fun at day camp, Wilbur finally got his much needed bath, thank you for that by the way. I never thought I'd be able to wash that dinosaur. (Bill chuckled.). And he has a new favorite food we eat every morning now, again thanks to you."

Bill quirked an eyebrow at Hilary.

"Watermelon. (She smiled widely, and Bill was entranced, she was so beautiful.). He never liked it, until he saw you at the carnival competing and winning by eating watermelon."

Bill's heart filled with so much mirth to know Daniel looked up to him.

"Well we do grow the biggest watermelons in the world here in Arkansas, I'm glad he'll now get the chance to enjoy them."

Hillary smiled, she crossed her leg over her other and readied her notepad.

"So Bill, what did you want to talk about in tonight's session?"

Bill looked down at his feet, he let out a large sigh.

"Why we asked you for your help in the first place Dr. Rodham." Bill didn't look at her at first but he could sense her nervous shift.

Hillary was not prepared to jump into this topic so soon, but she liked to let her patients decide what they wanted to open up about. This patient was no different, even if she was starting to have strong feelings for him. But the question she repeated in her head... 'Are you ready to hear this Hillary?'

"Ok Bill, where shall we start?"

Another deep sigh. 'There's no going back now Bill.'

"With the event that lead to the intervention of Betsey and my staff and my agreement to seek the help I'd been avoiding for so long."

Another deep breath before the plunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hanger!!! The next chapter is going to be super heavy guys, probably want to get your tissues ready.


	10. Session Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill is about to begin a journey of healing through a torturous walk through memory lane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disclaimer**  
> These next few chapters will be super heavy, and they will address some of the real life rumors that have circulated about Bill over the years.
> 
> This is in no way to hurt or attack Bill, but for the concept of this fanfic it was necessary for me to tap into.
> 
> I will be writing Disclaimers and Warnings before each of the chapters so if the subject matter upsets you or causes a trigger you can skip it. 
> 
> This will be my darkest fic yet.

"A few weeks ago a young woman came to my office demanding to see me. Betsey had intercepted her and taken her into to her office, she demanded to know why she was trying to see me. She told Betsey her name and that she had met me the week before at a hotel I had been at for a budget conference. She came to my office because she had been trying to get a hold of me and wanted to know why I was refusing to return her calls. Betsey told her to wait in her office and she came to me... I didn't remember the young woman but I remember being with someone the night of the conference. Truth be told this was not the first time this happened, Betsey told me that many women have come to my office saying almost the exact same thing, however this was the first I had heard of it. When Betsey went back to the young woman and told her I had never heard of her, she was furious and that's when she threatened to talk to the press. Betsey had convinced her not to and sent her on her way but she was worried that the other women might talk. She came back to my office and pressed me to give her more details about the other women I may have been with. When I finally said it all out loud I began to realize I might have a problem. Then came the nail into my coffin, a letter arrived which Betsey had gotten from a woman claiming I am the father of her child. That was when Betsey and my staff did an intervention with me and suggested I seek counseling."

 

Hillary listened in what could only be described as stunned silence. But as her stomach twisted into a knot she stayed silent and continued to jot down more notes and let Bill continue.

 

"Dr. Rodham I'm not a bad man, I never have been with a woman without her consent. I don't know why I get swept up by a woman who bats her eyes at me."

 

She knew wasn't a bad man, she could tell that by how he was with Daniel, but she knew with all her professional experience that there was most certainly an underlying cause for his reckless behavior.

 

"Bill. I want you to be able to dive deeper into your past to see if we can get a better understanding of why. The 'why' question is never an easy one to uncover, but in order to repair your broken pieces we need to essentially break you further. I am going to have to ask questions you may be uncomfortable with but it is vital you are truthful, the hardest part of this process, you have already conquered. Asking for and realizing you need help. Your next biggest obstacle is finding the root cause for these actions. Are you willing to go there now?"

 

Bill was rubbing his hands together, there were things from his past he told no one about, not even his closest friends. The silent demons run deep in his veins and by opening them up, he was afraid that the bleeding may never stop. But he had to try, he had to try mostly of course for himself but secondly for Hillary. He was falling madly in love with her and he knew in order to have any chance of anything with her he must heal himself. He simply couldn't repeat his past behaviors if and when he was lucky enough to be in a relationship with her. Being raised by a single mother himself he knew Hillary would be no nonsense with anyone that could be close to her son. He reached deep, deeper than he ever knew he could and answered Hillary.

 

"I must."

 

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't relieved with his answer. She was falling for him hard and fast.

 

"Then let's begin."

 

She cleared her throat a bit and sat up right a bit more, as if a steel rod now replaced her spine. This was going to be a painful journey into Bill's deep abyss but necessary nonetheless. She readied her hand to jot notes quickly as she began with the first question.

 

"Bill, when was your first sexual encounter?"

 

He was thrown off just a tad, he wasn't expecting that to be her first question. But his memory was impeccable, he could remember every single detail of his life in vivid detail.

 

"I was 15 years old. I was a heavy kid growing up, when I got into high school I shot up and I began to thin out. Girls were now starting to notice me and I was starting to notice them. Sandra O'Leery was her name, I saw her standing with a group of friends at one of the football games. She had long black hair and she was more mature then the other girls she was with. At first I couldn't tell if she had noticed me until I went to the snack stand and she approached me. She was a senior and I was just a sophomore and before I knew it we were dating and then I was taking her to her prom. There was a party afterwards at the house of one of her friends..."

 

Bill took a minute here to compose himself, he felt a bit embarrassed and ashamed saying all this to Hillary. He thought for a moment what must she be thinking of me now.

 

"She was going away for college, to USC in fact and she whispered in my ear while we were standing in the kitchen to follow her. Off we went upstairs and into a darkened bedroom. She said that she didn't want to leave for school not knowing what it would be like to be intimate with me. I was petrified and I started to panic, I was still a virgin and had no clue what to do with a woman's body. I mean I had seen stuff in my step fathers Playboy magazines but in the flesh was different. I remember that we went slow and she guided me through it. She didn't laugh at me for not knowing and I will always be grateful for that."

 

"Bill when you experienced that feeling for the first time, what went through your mind? Nerves aside, after a few minutes when the nerves subsided."

 

Bill was never asked that before and he never thought about it before either, he wasn't sure how to respond so he was truthful.

 

"Honestly, I don't think anything went through my mind. I don't remember thinking that it was magical or special, felt like just an action at that time."

 

"So you didn't feel love?"

 

There it was, the question he never wanted to answer. He sighed heavily.

 

"No. No I did not feel love. Sandra was a sweet girl and we have stayed in touch over the years, but no Dr. Rodham I didn't love her. I know that I should have waited until I was with someone I truly loved."

 

Hillary perked up a bit, she could see his internal struggle. She would have to get him to dig deeper.

 

"Have you ever been in love Bill? Not the high school type, I mean head over heels, deeply in love."

 

He was surprised at how quickly they got to the first of his transgressions. He wasn't sure he was ready to go here but he opened this wound now he needed to seal it up properly. Before he began he thought about stopping, he didn't want Hillary to hear this part of his past. However, he asked himself if this was another psychologist that he wasn't falling for would he open himself up? Yes, the answer was yes.

 

"I was in love once, yes, but not head over heels in love."

 

Hillary watched him closely, he stared straight ahead and clenched his jaw. This memory she could tell was painful, but he needed to verbalize the pain.

 

"Ann, her name was Ann. We met at Georgetown."

 

Cryptic, cold, and detached, that's how Hillary described his reaction to this memory. She knew he didn't want to discuss it but she needed to pull it out, this painful memory. She worried that if she pushed him would he recoil or would he push back? 'Only one way to find out Hilary.'

 

"And what happened Bill?"

 

"She wanted to get married and I didn't."

 

Hillary would have to pull him along now, he was closing down and she felt his tension.

 

"Why didn't you want to get married?"

 

"I was interning for Senator Fulbright, and then I was about to make my way to Oxford. I had high career goals and big dreams, she had her own and things just didn't align for us."

 

There was more and Hillary knew it.

 

"Is that all Bill? Two young people with different career paths? Or is there more you aren't willing to share?"

 

She nudged... would he nudge back?

 

"With all due respect Dr. Rodham that is none of your business."

 

Bill wasn't necessarily mad with her, he was more angry at himself. But quietly Hillary was thrilled he nudged back.

 

"With all due respect Governor, the moment you hired me to be your psychologist it became very much my business. We can't move you forward to healing without you first having to bleed. However, if you are not ready to discuss this part of your past... then perhaps we should end the session for tonight and pick up again next week."

 

Bill was scowling, never before had a woman challenged him like that. He loved it.

 

"What do you want to hear doctor? The fact that she was angry I chose my political passion over her or the fact that while I was dating her I cheated on her several times? Which part of those cuts can you sew back up?"

 

Inside Hillary smirked, she pushed just enough.

 

"For right now neither, we need to open all those wounds Governor. They all need to be opened at the same time so in one swift motion we can heal them. So that is where we will stop for tonight and we will pick up here next week."

 

Bill was fuming.

 

"With all do respect Ms. Rodham we are done when I say we are done."

 

Hillary paused placing her notepad into her briefcase. 'Who the hell does he think he is talking to?' She pushed the notepad in latched it and looked up at him. Fire burning in her eyes, and Bill was instantly turned on.

 

"It's Dr. Rodham, and with all due respect Governor Clinton... we are done when I say we are."

 

She stood up, smoothed her skirt out.

 

"Goodnight Governor, my office will be in touch with Betsey to confirm a time for next week."

 

She turned on her heels and made her way to the door of the study. Just as she put her hand on the door knob, Bill was behind her and placed his large hand on top of hers. She turned suddenly ready to berate him, when his other cupped her soft cheek and his lips met hers. He gently pushed her back against the door and her briefcase dropped from her hand and instinctively went to the back of his neck to pull him closer.

 

It happened so fast, he just got up and did it. No one had ever made him feel the way she did, her firm stand just mere moments earlier made something bubble up inside of him. Primal would be the best description.

 

Their kiss was a beautiful dance, and it felt right but so very wrong.

 

Hillary finally after a few moments came to her senses and put her hands on his chest to push away. Both of them panting for air, blue eyes looking deeply into blue eyes... Hillary picked up her briefcase, opened the door and quickly made her way outside and into her car.

 

Bill stood there, speechless and stunned as that beautiful woman left.

 

Hillary was driving home and it felt like her skin was on fire. His lips on hers set of the spark that now lit an ignition neither one of them could stop. She needed to get home and in the shower to cool down and try and clear her end of what just happened.


	11. The Foyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what occurred at the end of their intense 2nd session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A semi soft chapter before the dark again. With a twist at the end... please don't be mad at me friends.

Hillary arrived home, she was still shaken up. She took a moment to collect herself before she walked inside and saw Gerry.

 

"Good evening Dr. Rodham."

 

"Hello Gerry, sorry I am late the session went longer than I thought it would."

 

"There is no need to apologize ma'am, really, Daniel was teaching me all about dinosaurs and he ate a full bowl of watermelon. Much to my surprise, last time I tried to give him some he scrunched his face and said it was yucky."

 

Hillary smiled.

 

  
"Thank you again Gerry..."

 

  
Hillary was interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

"Who could that be at this hour, don't worry Dr. Rodham I'll answer it. It might be one of your neighbors."

 

Hillary was slipping her heels off in the living room, when Gerry entered.

 

"Dr. Rodham? (Gerry started to whisper.). The Governor of Arkansas is in the foyer."

 

Hillary's eyes went wide, she couldn't believe he was at her house. Honestly she was totally panicking inside but not on the outside, on the outside she was calm, cool and collected. She put her heels back on and stood up straight, as if a steel rod was placed in her spine.

 

"Thank you Gerrry, let me walk you to the door." Hillary and Gerry made their way to the door she looked up and saw Bill standing there in that suit. 'God, he is so sexy.' Her thoughts were playing a tug of war game in her head. "I will see you tomorrow at the office, thanks again for watching Daniel." Hillary tried to be as casual as she could, Gerry was awestruck however, the handsome young Governor of Arkansas was standing in her bosses foyer.

 

"Have a good night doctor, I will see you tomorrow." Gerry stepped onto the porch and Hillary waved then she closed the door. She locked it and rested her hand on it for just a moment before she closed her eyes, steadied herself and turned to face him.

 

They stood there in silence, looking deep into each other's eyes, the tension was high. Finally she spoke first.

 

"Bill, what are you doing here?"

 

"I needed to see you. You left so quickly that I didn't get a chance to explain."

 

"There really isn't any you need to explain."

"Yes there is Hillary, and if I don't say it I might burst."

 

"Bill it was an emotional session, you are going to have many, many more like this. You need to trust the process and me for that matter. I know when it's time to stop, when you try and do too much to quickly it will have the opposite effect. You were not wounded and scared overnight and you won't be healed overnight."

 

Bill put his hands in his pockets, he was incredibly turned on by not just her incredible beauty but also by her amazing intellect. He began to walk, closes the gap between them.

 

"Hillary, that's not what I'm talking about."

 

Within seconds he had her trapped with her back to the front door, just like in his study.

 

His eyes were filled with lust, he wanted her, not just physically... no, she was more than just a quick lay. She was special, she was "the one"! He felt it the moment he laid his eyes on her the first time, he waited his whole life for this woman, this one woman.

 

"I wasn't referring to the session Hillary, I do trust the process... and I trust you."

 

Before she could open her mouth to speak Bill's beautiful hands were cupping her cheeks and his lips were hovering over hers.

 

"I'm falling madly in love with you Hillary. And the moment our lips touched I know you felt the spark too.

 

The flat of her palms were resting on the door, she used every ounce of strength she had to keep them firmly there. She was losing the battle, and now with his confession that he was falling in love with her made her heart flutter. She was falling for him too, but she never imagined he was as well. She was now conflicted.

 

He was so close to her lips, her heart was pounding. She could barely whisper...

 

"Bill, even if I did it's unethical. I'm your therapist and I take that very seriously."

 

Bill smiled and he placed his lips upon hers, so gently. Her fingertips went white from pushing them into the wood of the door. He released her lips.

 

"Then I'll wait. It will be difficult but I don't want to stop my healing... and I damn sure don't want to lose you. I've waited for you my whole life and I can't let you slip away."

 

Hillary's knees were now weak. 'Could this be real?' Her thoughts were all over the place.

 

"Bill, your healing could take months or even years. We have to get to the root cause and that doesn't happen overnight."

 

"Can you free up your schedule for tomorrow? There is a place I'd like to show you, actually two places."

 

She looked up into his eye, she saw the anguish. These two places were significant in his life both good and bad, however, the bad was outweighing the good.

 

She couldn't lie to herself, she was falling madly in love with him but she took on this task, this client because he needed help. He needed to get better, she was determined to continue.

 

"I can move my schedule around, but Bill, we need to maintain a level of professionalism. Your healing is more important"

 

Bill smiled.

 

"So you never answered my question doctor... Do you feel the spark too?"

 

Bill's right index finger gently began to stroke her cheek. His blue eyes were looking deep into hers, Hillary shuttered at his intense gaze. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breath and the fluttering happening inside her stomach.

 

She opened her eyes to meet his again.

"Yes." She whispered, but before she could give her "but's", his lips again gently landed on hers. The kiss was romantic, the kiss was soft, the kiss was everything she ever dreamed of.

 

He broke from her lips gently.

 

"Wait for me Hillary."

 

He kissed her forehead.

 

"I'll pick you up at 8 tomorrow morning for our field trip."

 

He gripped the door knob opened the door and began to walk out of the house. She was speechless, so many emotions flooding her.

 

"Goodnight Hillary." Bill was now on the porch, she wasn't sure how she was moving or even functioning at this point. No man had ever made her feel like this before.

 

"Goodnight Bill."

 

She watched him descend from the porch and into his car before she closed the door and locked it behind her. She stood there a moment, letting the evening wash over her. She couldn't process it all right now, it was to much, but she went to her phone in the study, briefcase in tow. She pulled out her legal pad that she was using to take notes, she picked up the phone and dialed Gerry. Gerry was not quite home yet, so she left her a message.

 

"Gerry, it's Hillary. I hate to bother you so late, but could you call me as soon as you get this message. Thank you."

 

Hillary hung up the receiver and picked up her pen to jot down more notes about her session with Bill. She wasn't sure how it was going to work now, now that their feelings for each other were exposed. She drifted back to the kiss in his study, it was so passionate and commanding, yet gentle and romantic. And of course she couldn't help but think about him in that suit, looking incredibly handsome. Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Dr. Rodham it's Gerry. Is everything alright?"

 

"Yes Gerry, thank you so much for returning my call. Listen I am going to be out of the office tomorrow working with a client, is there any chance we can shuffle around my schedule?"

 

"Hmm, let me take a quick glance at it... I don't think it will be a problem ma'am, you only have 2 appointments tomorrow, Mrs. Welker and Anna Robinson. You're Friday isn't super busy so I can reschedule them for then, that way they don't miss a week."

 

"Excellent, thank you Gerry. That is so helpful."

 

"You are welcome ma'am."

 

Gerry on the other end contemplated if she should bring up the fact that the Governor was just at Hillary's home. However Hillary would beat her too it.

 

"The Governor has asked me to work with him on getting affordable counseling to the young people of the state. He's working on not just improving the education standards of the state but he wants to improve the health care standards and he wants my input."

 

It was the cover she was to use if anyone saw her with the Governor, she didn't like lying but she also wanted to protect her patient.

 

"That's wonderful ma'am, what an incredible honor."

 

"I know it's a lot to ask from you Gerry but could you pick Daniel up after camp and babysit him again? I'm not sure what time I will be back tomorrow."

 

"Ma'am it's not a lot to ask at all. Of course I will."

 

Hillary smiled, lucky to have such a her secretary.

 

"Thank you again Gerry. Have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow."

 

"You as well ma'am. Goodnight."

 

Hillary hung up the phone, put her notepad back in her briefcase, turned off the light in her office and headed up to bed. When she made it to the second floor she went right to Daniel's room to check on him but he wasn't in his bed. So then she went to her room, remembering she promised him he could sleep in her room that evening. She slowly opened the door and there he was... her heart and soul. Fast asleep with his best friend and she smiled.

 

After she finished getting ready for bed she tucked him in a little more and kissed his head.

 

She climbed into bed and wondered what tomorrow would bring. She drifted back again to the moments that Bill's lips had touched hers and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

 

/////////////

  
Meanwhile at the Governor's mansion, Bill was not in a peaceful world. The stress of the next day and what he was to reveal to Hillary weighed on him heavily. Facing his demons... giving words to his internal pain was scaring him. He paced a bit in his study, fidgeting with his hands, he picked up the phone ready to dial a number that he kept in his wallet. 'Call me anytime you need comforting, Governor. Karen.'

 

He stared at the number.

 

He walked over to the phone in his study and picked up the receiver.

 

 


	12. Memory Lanes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Hillary embark on the field trip.
> 
> Sometimes you must look back to move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning**  
> This chapter talks about 2 forms of abuse, mental and physical. 
> 
>  
> 
> I wrote this chapter the way I remember as a kid listen to what my father would do to my mother and my brother. This was a personal chapter for me, it's of course dark but I tried to throw some light moments in with it.

 

> Bill picked up the phone receiver and began to dial the number on the card, when his gaze suddenly went to the chair she occupied just mere hours ago. Next it went to the door he had pinned her against gently to kiss her passionately. She was undoubtedly the one, and he knew he needed to reach down deep within himself to stop himself from doing something stupid and unforgivable. Especially now that he revealed his feelings for her, in order to heal himself he had to break himself of old bad and terrible habits. He lowered the phone's receiver and walked out of the office and up to his bedroom to change.
> 
>  
> 
> /////////
> 
>  
> 
> After she and Daniel finished their morning routine, she took him to camp and then returned home to await the Governor's arrival for their 'field trip'. She did not know what to expect, but she knew this has significance to his darkness and might be the key to his healing.
> 
>  
> 
> 8AM on the dot, he pulled up her driveway and sent a trooper to extract her from the house. She emerged wearing an incredibly sexy powder blue blazer with khaki colored slacks and of course high heels. Briefcase in tow she was escorted to the back passenger side door. She entered and found him sitting there waiting for her in another perfectly tailored suit and her heart began to thud. She slid into the car as the trooper shut the door behind her and he entered into the front passenger seat.
> 
>  
> 
> "Good morning doctor."
> 
>  
> 
> "Good morning to you as well Governor."
> 
>  
> 
> "Did you rest well?"
> 
>  
> 
> "As a matter of fact I did, I even had two occupants as guests all night."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill raised an eyebrow.
> 
>  
> 
> "Daniel and Wilbur were with me all night, and I somehow seemed to get Wilbur in my armpit this morning."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill let out a large chuckle as did Hillary.
> 
>  
> 
> "So Governor, where are we heading on this field trip?"
> 
>  
> 
> The trooper turned back to seek Bill's permission to begin the journey.
> 
>  
> 
> "We are heading to Hope."
> 
>  
> 
>   
>  Bill chuckled again.
> 
>  
> 
> "We are heading to Hope, Arkansas, where I was born and where I was raised. Then to Hot Springs, Arkansas where I grew up and came of age."
> 
>  
> 
> Hillary looked at his side profile, noting his handsomeness but also the clenching of his jaw and him rubbing his hands together in a nervous motion.
> 
>  
> 
> "Alright then, I am ready whenever you are."
> 
>  
> 
> He turned to her, meeting those crystal blue orbs and he smiled.
> 
>  
> 
> "Let's roll gentlemen."
> 
>  
> 
>   
>  /////////
> 
>  
> 
> Hillary and Bill didn't say much on the 2 hour car ride down I-30 to Hope from Little Rock. She could sense he was fighting an internal battle in his own head. Finally the arrived on a small and narrow street in front of a house that looked as old as the town itself.
> 
>  
> 
> "We are here." Bill said while getting out of the car and then making his way around to her side to opening the door for her and extend a hand to help her out.
> 
>  
> 
> She realized it was time to jump into therapist mode, and quick before he might lose the courage to open himself up.
> 
>  
> 
> "Bill, what is this place?"
> 
>  
> 
> He stilled his breath and neither noticed that he was still holding her hand.
> 
>  
> 
> "This is the home I was raised in. It was owned by grandparents Eldridge and Edith Cassidy, my mother's parents."
> 
>  
> 
> "Did you all live here?"
> 
>  
> 
> He smiled, haphazardly.
> 
>  
> 
> "No. Mama went off to New Orleans not long after I was born, she went to study nursing."
> 
>  
> 
> "So she left you here to be looked after by your grandparents?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Yeah, grandpa owed a small grocery store in town and grandma... well I was her world. Can't say she felt that way towards mama but that I am sure will be a whole different session all together."
> 
>  
> 
> "Tell me about them."
> 
>  
> 
> They began to walk down the street toward the center of town. A trooper following a safe distance behind while the other trooper followed in the car.
> 
>  
> 
> "Grandpa taught me how to respect anyone and everyone, no matter where they come from or what challenges they have faced in this world. Often times folks would come into the store to buy food but they couldn't afford it and grandpa would give them the food on credit, so they wouldn't starve. He taught me to look up to people that other's would often look down on."
> 
>  
> 
> "Valuable lesson to teach a young boy."
> 
>  
> 
> "He was a good man. Grandma and he didn't always get along. She was a difficult woman to love but not when it came to me, I was the center of her world. She didn't like that mama ran off to nursing school and left me there but mama was now a single parent widow and she needed to be able to provide for us on her own. Grandma was old fashioned I guess, never thought a woman should work, thought she should find a man and settle down and keep the home."
> 
>  
> 
> "Not an uncommon attitude to have in her day."
> 
>  
> 
> "No indeed not, but mama was independent and I think that made grandma jealous. Mama was a good nurse, she had a natural talent for it and grandma wasn't much good at anything expect cooking and baking."
> 
>  
> 
> "How long did you stay with your grandparents Bill?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Until I was 5, mama came back from school with more than just her degree. She met a man named Roger... Roger Clinton. Car salesmen from Hot Springs, they got married and off we went to Hot Springs."
> 
>  
> 
> "Did you like him?"
> 
>  
> 
> Bill's jaw tensed and clenched again.
> 
>  
> 
> "We will talk more about him when we get to Hot Springs, if that is alright?"
> 
>  
> 
> Sensing he needed to take this journey step by step and at his own pace.
> 
>  
> 
> "Of course it is Bill. (She squeezed his hand.) Of course it is."
> 
>  
> 
> They walked around Hope for a while, he showed her where his grandpa's store was, his elementary school, where his best friend Vince and he used to swing from trees at. Finally after seeing so many familiar faces and shaking hands with town people, he turned to Hillary.
> 
>  
> 
> "Ready for the dark part of our journey?"
> 
>  
> 
> He smiled only to release the tension.
> 
>  
> 
> "I am ready if you are Bill."
> 
>  
> 
> He nodded and opened the car door for her to get in, he then walked around to the other side and waved to the people one last time before entering into the car himself.
> 
>  
> 
>   
>  /////////
> 
>  
> 
> They arrived in Hot Springs in front of a run down used car sales lot, they didn't get out this time. However Bill explained why they had stopped.
> 
>  
> 
> "This was daddy's car dealership, he ran it with his brother and another partner."
> 
>  
> 
> "Daddy?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Yeah, I called Roger daddy. He was the only father I had known so I just decided one day to start calling him that. Early on he deserved the title."
> 
>  
> 
> Hillary made a note of that in the back of her head. She couldn't really take her notepad out because she wasn't sure when they would stop and get out of the car.
> 
>  
> 
> They pulled up to a red and white Tudor style home that looked like it was persevered to it's 1950s look.
> 
>  
> 
> "Bill?"
> 
>  
> 
> He looked at her, fighting the memories inside his mind. She saw the struggle happening, and she tried to help alleviate that for him. Even if only slightly.  She took a hold of his hands and rubbed her thumbs on the backs of his hand.
> 
>  
> 
> "We don't have to do this if you aren't ready yet."
> 
>  
> 
> He shook his head.
> 
>  
> 
> "No. We need to. I can't keep these memories inside any longer Hillary, they have been eating away at me slowly for 30 years."
> 
>  
> 
> "Alright. I am going to hold your hands while you talk to me. Pretend I am not here and just have a conversation with yourself out loud."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill stared deep into her eyes, he found strength in them, she wasn't going to judge him, she wasn't going to hurt him. No she was going to heal him and he took a large breath in and exhaled and closed his eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> "This is the house of hell."
> 
>  
> 
> Hillary looked at it over his shoulder.
> 
>  
> 
> "We were a happy family at first, mama and daddy then added a new addition to our family 6 years later. My brother Roger. It went downhill fast after that."
> 
>  
> 
> He steadied himself yet again and Hillary gently squeezed his hands so he knew she was there.
> 
>  
> 
> "Daddy, started drinking heavily and gambling. And he developed quite the temper, or maybe he always had it but he knew how to hide it better before. Or it was the alcohol."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill wasn't very coherent, it was just coming all out in a jumbled mess but Hillary didn't mind because at least it was coming out.
> 
>  
> 
> "What happened Bill?"
> 
>  
> 
> He clenched his jaw again and turned and look at the house, he didn't even notice that tears were falling. He stopped communicating, he didn't put words to it because he never spoke of the darkness he kept hidden away. His mind drifted back, he wasn't in the car...
> 
>  
> 
> _He was a kid, sitting on his bed with his knees to his chest. His baby bother Roger was too small to know anything was happening... happening downstairs. Tears falling... the screams of his mother echoing in his ear drums. The sound of hard flesh hitting sensitive soft flesh._
> 
>  
> 
> Those sounds tucked away in a locked drawer in the way back of his mind, never thinking he would ever have to speak of them.
> 
>  
> 
> "I was 10, Hillary... daddy came home late one night. He never phoned mama to tell her he was going to be late so she was going to teach him a lesson and not have any dinner ready for him when he got home. I went up to my room, it's the window up to the far right there, and I was finishing up my homework when he finally came home. I was excited to see him, I had actually missed him all day. When I went to make my decent from the upstairs, I heard daddy screaming at mama. Calling her so many words and names I had no idea what they meant at 10, I know what they mean now. He was angry and drunk as hell, she didn't have a hot plate of food waiting for him, and to him that was not acceptable. 'It shouldn't matter what time I get home Virginia, I expect my damn dinner to waiting and ready for me.' That was the last thing I remember hearing him shout before I heard a sound I never want to hear again. The crack of his hand hitting her face."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill couldn't stop, neither his tears or his memory from coming forward. Hillary sat speechless and just let him open himself up. Here was this handsome man, allowing her to see him so vulnerable.
> 
>  
> 
> "I quietly went back up to my bedroom, I shut the door jumped on my bed, pulled my knees to my chest and I cried. I cried for what seemed like hours, as I heard him beat the living hell out of her. I couldn't stop him, I was too small to take him on. So I had to simply sit there and listen to him beat my mother, listen to her cries of pain and I could doing nothing about it. Later on if mama wasn't around to smack and beat he would beat Roger pretty badly."
> 
>  
> 
> Hillary was speechless, she wanted so bad to be able to take his pain away right there and then but she couldn't. She had to let the process move naturally. She collected herself.
> 
>  
> 
> "Did he hit you too, Bill?"
> 
>  
> 
> He stared up to his old bedroom window and he answered barely about a whisper.
> 
>  
> 
> "Yes."
> 
>  
> 
> "Bill? Let's end here. We can talk more about this at the next session. Right now, we should get you back home and get you to rest. This was a lot."
> 
>  
> 
> He just merely nodded his head in the affirmative.
> 
>  
> 
> "Back to the mansion, sir?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Indeed Coop, but first we need to drop Dr. Rodham at her house."
> 
>  
> 
> "That won't be necessary. I'll be staying at the Governor's mansion tonight."
> 
>  
> 
> Bill looked at her curiously but she did not look to him, she needed to make sure he would be alright tonight. He just reached a trigger moment and she has seen it many times that when a patient withdrawals a memory this painful they can often lash out and she wants nothing to stop his progress.
> 
>  
> 
> She did however reach down for his hand and held it in hers. They rode like that and in silence for the trip back to Little Rock.
> 
>  
> 
> Tonight was going to be difficult.


	13. Kitchen Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering the note, Hillary confronts Bill about why.... Will she get the answer she fears or will she finally get the breakthrough she needs to put Bill back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. I am so sorry I have no updated this in over a month... my schedule has been so hectic that I just didn't have any time to devote to writing this chapter the way I wanted. Working 2 jobs has been a struggle and soon I hope to start taking some college classes. I thank you all so much for your continued support and patience. I hope you all like this chapter.

They arrived at the Governor's Mansion some time around 8, not much was spoken between the two of them. She wanted it that way she needed to read him, how was he reacting to the opening of this painful walk he took her on.

 

 

  
Now standing in the foyer of the mansion, Hillary needed to call Gerry and ask her if she could stay the night with Daniel while she continued her assessment of Bill.

 

  
"Bill, would you mind if I used your telephone to call my assistant who is watching Daniel and let her know I will not be home?"

 

"Not at all, use the phone in my study, please."

 

Bill motioned for her to enter.

 

"I will leave you with some privacy, I'll be in the kitchen when you are finished."

 

"Thank you, I will join you in a moment."

 

  
Hillary entered the room and Bill softly closed the door behind her, she spotted the telephone on his desk and approached it. She picked up the receiver and started to dial her home number. She was so focused on her task that she was not aware of things in her surroundings.

 

"Hello, Gerry? It's Hillary. Oh no nothing is wrong I am fine but I am not going to be home tonight. Yes, I am still with the Governor working on gathering information for his project. Can you make sure Daniel gets to Day Camp in the morning? Gerry I hope this isn't a huge imposition for you. Thank you Gerry I..."

 

Without thinking Hillary looked down and saw a note laying next to the phone...

 

'Call me anytime you need comforting, Governor. Karen.'

 

Gerry on the other end was concerned why her boss just stopped mid sentence. Hillary's heart sunk as she read those words over and over again.

 

Finally Gerry snapped her out of her trance.

 

"I... I'm sorry Gerry, I wanted to say that I appreciate you staying with Daniel tonight and I will see you tomorrow morning at the office. You too Gerry, goodnight."

 

Hillary hung up the receiver and picked up the little note, she knew she had absolutely no right to be angry. She wasn't dating Bill, but she couldn't help but wonder. 'Did he call her, this Karen woman.' 'Did she provide the comforting she promised to deliver?' Despite her interaction with Bill in her foyer just the night before, she was falling for him. It was hard not to... Georgetown graduate, Rhodes Scholar, Yale Law graduate, Fulbright Scholar, Boys Nation alum who shook hands with John F. Kennedy, tall, muscular and incredibly handsome. She did her homework on him just as he had done on her. She couldn't deny the feelings that were beginning to form, actually they were in full bloom truth be told.

 

When she first met him she felt the spark, at the carnival however was when her heart was stolen. The way Bill was with her and more importantly how he was with her son. She saw the good in him, she saw his desire to make those around him happy. She also knew he had demons, destructive and self destructive demons. She couldn't act on her feelings with him until she helped him free himself of those demons.

 

Finding this note on his desk was one of those self destructive demons. She was hurt personally but what was more important was getting to the root cause of why he had that note out. She went out to meet him in the kitchen little note in hand. A breakthrough was about to happen, this one she knew would hurt.

 

Looking up from reading a section of the paper while he was standing at the island with a drink next to him.

 

"Hillary would you like a drink?"

 

"Water is fine."

 

"I really appreciate you staying with me tonight, I have Carol setting up the guest bedroom for you."

 

"Thank you Bill."

 

With his back turned he removed a glass from the cupboard got some ice and filled the glass with water. Not at all aware that she had this tiny note resting in her hand. He turned back around to her and he smiled, placed the water on the counter for her as she sat in a high legged chair wooden chair.

 

As he placed the glass down, she brought her hand up with the note and placed it on the counter for him to see she had it and had seen it.

 

His heart dropped into his stomach as he stared down at the note with Hillary's beautiful tiny index finger still atop it. His Adam's Apple bobbed a bit but before he could speak she broke the silence.

 

"I know I had no right to go through your personal things, it was sitting next to the telephone in your study and I thought that perhaps since I will be here for the night we could discuss it."

 

He continued to stare at the little card with those damn words on it, and he kicked himself for still having it, kicked himself for forgetting to throw it away last night or this morning. He didn't use the number or use the person who handed him that message weeks ago, he knew that but why all of a sudden was he ashamed? Was it because his deepest demon was now brought to the surface? Or was it because the woman he was falling madly in love with had found it? Did it matter she was his therapist? All this questions and contemplations played out over his face and in his eyes as Hillary observed his reactions.

 

Barely above a whisper, Bill finally spoke into the silence between them. "I didn't call her."

 

Hillary, truth be told, was so grateful for that.

 

"I honestly had forgotten she had given me that weeks ago when we met at a function. She was a very forceful young lady, she spent almost the whole night flirting with me. I won't lie and say I didn't like it. However I couldn't act on my darkest impulse that night, I had a very important State Budget Meeting very early the next morning."

 

Hillary did not expect them to get this deep so fast in their sessions but the situation was fluid and she trusted her instincts to keep him opening up.

 

"And had you not had that meeting the next morning?"

 

She wanted him to be honest, he needed to be honest to get to the root cause of everything that was hurting him inside to lead to these self destructive behaviors, but was she truly ready for the raw truth? She knew she had to be as a professional, she had to no matter how painful and difficult put those feelings she was having for him aside.

 

Bill still looking down at the note, he couldn't meet her gaze. He was ashamed at himself, ashamed for his weaknesses. But he had to be honest, he had to give voice to those demons.

 

"I would have brought her back here."

 

Hillary swallowed hard. She reached for her glass of water, but before she could grin it Bill reached for her hand.

 

"I would have hated myself the next morning, like I have with all the other women. I just don't know how to stop it, I don't know why I do it. Why I am so reckless."

 

Breakthrough! His first admission of his problem, but more importantly a sense of remorse and need to understand his demon.

 

Hillary did not let go of his hand, truth be told she loved the way his hands felt, the way his fingers were long and elegant yet still masculine. Veins popping out just in the right spots and his thin wrists, were driving her insane. Again pushing that to the side she willed herself with all her strength to stay in professional character.

 

"Bill, why do you think you continue to use sex as a release? I want you to think about the times that lead up to you picking that self destructive behavior. With addicts, there is a trigger, with victims of sexual assault there is a trigger, with victims of PTSD there is a trigger. I work with these folks every single day, and there is always a trigger."

 

Bill finally looked up at her and into her eyes, those blue eyes were soft and feminine. He knew there had been pain behind them, but she hid it well. He needed to know her, he needed to court her. He was never more sure of anything in his whole life... that Hillary Rodham was in fact the one.

 

"I am honestly not sure, I don't remember there being anything significant that occurred before those encounters." Bill said honestly, nothing seemed out of the ordinary at least to him. However Hillary was determined to find the answer.

 

"Alright, so let's take this one step at a time. How long had the card been sitting on your desk?"

 

He sighed.

 

"Since last night."

 

Hillary felt slight numbness but she pushed on.

 

"Where had it been prior?"

 

"In my wallet, and I honestly don't remember her giving it to me or even putting in there."

 

"Alright so when did you take it out of your wallet, last night?"

 

She wasn't sure she wanted to hear this answer but she knew she had to hear it. Not at all for her sake but for Bill's. Little did she know she was about to find out why Bill Clinton was so self destructive.

 

"After I returned home from seeing you."

 

He lowered his head. All he felt in that moment was utter shame and embarrassment. Hillary sensed it and she reached over to his chin and picked his head up to look into her eyes.

 

"Don't Bill, don't be ashamed. Allow yourself to open."

 

His eyes softened when he looked into her eyes. She was tearing down his darkness, not just by her professional prowess but with her very being.

 

"I am ashamed that after I kissed you last night I came here and took that card out and was even considering using it. I am ashamed I could have hurt you."

 

"However, you stopped yourself. That is huge progress for you. It may not seem so to you right now, but when you are triggered you move to self destruction. It isn't uncommon for people that dealt with abuse in their lives. However something prevented you from acting on your trigger."

 

Before Hillary could go on...

 

"It was you."

 

Her breath stopped.

 

"It was you Hillary. The thought of hurting you stopped me, the thought of causing you pain stopped me, the thought of disappointing you stopped me. I didn't want to hurt you."

 

She was speechless.

 

"I watched my mother for years love a man who wouldn't give a damn about hurting her, unless she threatened to leave him. Then it was 'Oh baby, I am so sorry I promise I will never do it again.' I watched her heart and soul crack with each forgiveness of that man. I just couldn't do that to you."

 

Hillary's other hand was now gently touching his cheek.

 

"Bill, how many times did you see your step father hit her?"

 

A pause.

 

"More times than I can count. And I wasn't strong enough to stop it. I wasn't strong enough to protect and shield my mother from his hands."

 

Without realizing it he was crying softly.

 

"Bill last night after we kissed, you asked me to move my schedule around so you could show me two places. I saw it in your eyes the happy and the pain."

 

"I loved living with my grandparents, it was hard at times because I missed mama terribly but when she came back with Roger in tow I was... I don't know conflicted I guess would be the right word. I waited for so long to have mama back but now I had to share her love."

 

'His mother and his step father... those are his triggers.' She carefully put the sequence of events from last night and today into perspective.

 

"Okay so let's travel back in time a bit Bill."

 

She gently removed her hand from his cheek and shifted into full on therapist mode. She was close, she knew it. She was also worried that pushing him to much could have an adverse effect. However, she was certain she knew the root cause, but she needed to confirm it.

 

"The last time you just slept with a woman to sleep with her. Do you remember when that was?"

 

He looked down at the counter, not in shame but he was trying to search back a recollect. Truth be told Bill's memory was impeccable, he could remember every bit of his life so it didn't take long.

 

"It was July the 25th, I was at a Community Cookout."

 

Hillary watched him carefully, she watched him think back and remember and then she watched as his eyes went large and looked back at her.

 

"What happened that day leading up to it or the day before?"

 

He softly shook his head.

 

"Nothing, but it's the date."

 

She furrowed her brow.

 

"What is significant about that date Bill?"

 

He took in a deep breath and exhaled... "It was daddy's birthday."

 

\-----------------------------

 

For the rest of the evening and into the night, Bill and Hillary went over and documented a timeline of every sexual encounter he had and the trigger significance to the actions. It painted a long and very painful timeline of self destruction, that Bill had no idea he was even doing. Friends and family simply thought of him as a "Playboy", he was handsome and charming so it made sense to think that. Yet none knew his deep pain that he kept hidden from them. Out of shame mostly but over the years he got to become and expert at hiding pain.

 

For Hillary she now had a blueprint, she had a detailed explanation of the self destruction. Now she would have to pick up his pieces and put him back together, to help him heal damage that he endured through his whole life. Would it be easy? Hell no, but this was no longer about "her patient". This was about saving and healing the man she was falling madly in love with.

 

Just past 2 in the morning they both retired to their respective rooms. However both of them lie awake on their beds... thoughts of the other one on their minds.

 


	14. Kitchen Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Bill nor Hillary could sleep... sometimes at that point you just need a late night snack in the kitchen.

She couldn’t sleep. She tried, but all she could do was read and reread the timeline she and Bill had put together just hours before. She was so close to opening him up completely and getting to the deep core of his self destructive behavior. It was complicated, she knew that from their first session, Bill’s pain started before his mother came back home from Nursing school in New Orleans with Roger in tow.

 

She couldn’t sleep.

 

Just a few feet down the hallway... neither could Bill. It had been a very emotional day and night for him, but despite that he really was feeling better. For the first time in his life he was finally unburdened of his shame, free to open up about a lot of things. Yet something was nagging at him. Now that he professed his feelings for Hillary, would she be turned off now? Now that she could see exactly how broken he truly is. He tried not to let it consume his thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. He was falling madly in love with her and it worried him that perhaps now that she knew his truth, she might not want to subject herself to him in a romantic way.

 

The battle he was having within himself was causing anxiety. Typically when he gets to this level of anxiety or stress he will lash out but not in any kind of violent way, no he feels the tug and pull deep within himself and before he never stopped to consider what he might be doing. He just reacted without thought. Now his actions would have a real and lasting impact and consequences... losing Hillary.

 

He got up from his bed and headed down to the kitchen, his late night sweet tooth was calling him. Entering the kitchen in just his pajama pants and bare feet he shivered a bit when his feet hit the cold tile. He looked in the refrigerator for the milk and then in the cupboard for his peanut butter cookies, he poured his glass of milk and stood at the sink looking out the window. His mind was lost in thought.

 

Hillary was starting to get thirsty as she continued to read over the timeline and her notes, she knew there was an incident before Bill’s mother returned and she knew it would take some time to find out the answer. For now however she would tip toe down to the kitchen and get a drink and maybe a snack.

 

Her mind was wandering as she descended the stairs and down the hallway into the kitchen. What was she thinking about? Bill Clinton. As she made it to the kitchen she looked up and there he was, his bare back to her and her breathe hitched. The light shining in from the window was illuminating his muscular back, she was rooted, she couldn’t move. He was so beautiful standing there, her thoughts were lost as was time and space. She didn’t realize she gasped, Bill heard it and turned around. The front was even more amazing than the back, his chest was smooth and sexy.

 

Bill was staring deep into her eyes, but her eyes were not meeting his. No they were staring at his chest and her mind was thinking about everything she wanted to do to that bare chest. Bill decided to break the silence.

 

“I couldn’t sleep so I came down for a snack.” Bill was hoping she would come out of her trance and look into his eyes.

 

She licked her lips and didn’t even realize she had done it, but Bill definitely noticed. He felt the heat rising within his body.

 

“I... uh... I couldn’t sleep either so I decided to get a glass of water.” Hillary stammered out, which was totally out of character for her. She couldn’t believe how silly she sounded.

 

Bill turned to retrieve a glass from the upper cabinet, she watch his torso twist and she swallowed the lump in her throat. She started walking towards him, she no longer had control over herself. A unseen force was pulling her towards this beautiful man and she was completely powerless to stop it, but truth be told she didn’t want to stop it. When Bill turned back toward her with the glass in his hand she was standing right in front of him and their eyes were locked together.

 

She stood in front of him wearing one of his t-shirts that lay just at her thigh, the moonlight from the window made her shine. He was completely captivated by her beauty, he couldn’t look a way and the truth is he didn’t want to, not for all the money in the world. She made him feel things he’d never felt before. She was healing him, mind, body and soul. It was as if she was sent to him, to fix his broken self.

 

Hillary was no longer in control of her actions and within minutes she placed her small soft hands on his pecks. He damn near shuddered when she touched him, he let her hands explore his exposed skin, he let her hands go wherever they wanted. He loved her touch, it was gentle and it was send intense endorphins throughout his body. Her left hand slowly moved down to his abdomen while her right hand rested on his now rapidly beating heart. She was watching her hands move up and down his torso, but Bill wanted to look deep into her eyes. So with his right hand he gently cupped her chin and tilted her head to look up at him. Her eyes fluttered. The tension between them was so intense now. She opened her mouth and whispered into the night air.

 

“Kiss me. Kiss me, please Bill.”

 

With both of her hands resting on his stomach he leaned down to her lips. His hovered over hers for a brief moment, mostly to absorb everything that was happening and to take in her amazing lavender body scent. He didn’t want to forget a single minute of this, he also hesitated a bit because he knew once they started down this road their would be no going back. He was ready for that... but was Hillary? He couldn’t be sure if this was a test she was giving him to see if he would give in to his demons yet again. He was confident that this was not that, that he was in fact falling head over heels in love with her.

 

“Are you sure?” He asked barely above a whisper, his iris’ deeply entranced to hers.

 

She smiled gently and exhaled slowly.

 

“I have never been more sure of anything in my whole lif..........”

 

Before she could finish his lips had gently met hers. Yes they had kissed before but this felt different. It was soft, gentle and romantic. He wasn’t rushing he was savoring the feel of her full lips on his. It was pure magic, it was pure heaven and he never wanted to stop. In fact he wanted much much more of her but he knew he couldn’t, not just yet. She deserved to be treated with the utmost respect, and if she wanted more it would be on her terms and on her time table.

 

Her body was on fire, her heart was beating faster than it had ever beat before, she felt tingles all over and intense butterflies in her stomach. She couldn’t continue to deny the feelings she was having for Bill and how fast they were evolving. Typically her analytical mind would take over, but not this time, this time her mind was allowing her to for once quiet itself and allow her to feel. His gentle touch was unlike anything she had ever had before, no one had been so gentle with her, Matthew certainly never was. She wasn’t sure where this was going but she was willing to see where it went.

 

Bill very reluctantly managed to pull his lips away from hers and rested his forehead on hers. Their breath was ragged and they were lost in each other and they never wanted to be found. Bill was using every ounce of strength he had left to not grab her by her waist and pull her up on the kitchen counter, he needed to test himself now, he needed to know he could have this incredible over the moon feeling with this beautiful and amazing woman without it ending in a romp in the sheets. He was so far winning this battle, but for how much longer was hard to know.

 

“I am falling madly in love with you Hillary. I can’t explain it but I have never felt anything like this before. What are you doing to me?”

 

Her lips curled at the sides of her moth and she slowly moved her hands back up his torso, up over his pecks, eventually resting on his strong jaw.

 

“Healing you.” Just 2 simple words, but not a simple task.

 

Bill wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her flush to his body and gently kissed her lips again.

 

There was absolutely no going back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, work at both jobs has really ramped up and I either spend most of my free time sleeping or cleaning my house. LOL! I also read What Happened and of course I think like all of you I needed time to cry and relive and heal all over again. 
> 
> If you can listen to it in Audio book form I strongly urge you too, to hear her read the book and to hear her tell the story makes it yes more emotional but also extremely therapeutic.
> 
> Anyway I want to really thank this awesome community for keeping the writers going. Sometimes we get writers block or we aren’t sure where we want to take our stories or we are worried the update we put out isn’t as good as we think and you all lift us up with great words of encouragement. So I wanted to say thank you so much. Your continued support means the world to us.
> 
> Alright, I really hope you enjoyed the update!


	15. Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill is out of town, and the struggle for both he and Hillary is real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I am sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. My schedule has been so chaotic recently. It was peck season with my full time job and now I am in peak season with my part time job so I was able to work on this bit by bit. I hope the chapter makes sense. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued support of my works and I promise I will update Agent 0042 soon, I have just been so creatively stuck on that story. I know where I want it to go but I haven’t been able to devote time to getting in that direction. I also have a few more one shots to do for The Young Lions series and I am going to be starting a whole new Billary Fanfic... here is a hint.... it takes place during WWII =O <3\. After I saw Hillary in Philadelphia for the book tour I feel creative again. If you can get tickets to see her on the book tour I highly recommend it, it was so freaking therapeutic.
> 
> Again thank you so much for supporting not just me but all the amazing Billary Fanfic writers, you have no idea how much your support means to us.
> 
> Hugs and Love and I hope you enjoy the new chapter, the next chapter is going to be lit!!

It had been a little over a week since they had the late night kitchen encounter. It had been a little over a week since they looked into each other’s eyes. It had been a little over a week since he put his arms around her waist. It had been a little over a week since his lips had so delicately touched hers. But to be honest... it felt like it was an eternity.

  
Bill was away traveling the state trying to sell his budget and education reform, she was back in Little Rock going about her days like normal. Getting up in the morning to shower and get breakfast ready for Daniel, taking Daniel to camp and then off to the office to meet with her patients. On the surface she seemed positively normal, no change in her attitude or emotions. No one would know that deep inside she was missing someone that was stealing her heart. Gerry however noticed the slight change in her boss.

  
The morning after she spent the night in the Governor’s mansion she came home and tried to sneak into the house before Gerry had woken up, but to no avail.

  
“Good morning Doctor.” Gerry greeted her as she came in the back door that entered into the kitchen, where Gerry was sitting sipping her coffee.

  
“Oh... good morning Gerry, I am so sorry did I wake you?” Hillary answered almost like she had gotten caught sneaking back into her house and was caught by a parent.

  
“Not at all, I usually am up at 5:30.” Gerry noticed that Hillary was... off. She couldn’t place it but she knew something was very different. “Dr. Rodham, are you feeling alright?”

  
Hillary was instantly paranoid. ‘Did Gerry notice something?’ ‘Was she being that transparent?’

  
“Yes, yes Gerry I am feeling fine. Thank you for asking.” Hillary needed to change the subject and quick, what happened only a few hours ago still so fresh in her mind she knew she wouldn’t be able to contain her emotions. “Was Daniel a good boy?”

  
“He certainly was, he and Wilbur read 2 books all by themselves, and he ate all of his vegetables.” Gerry was very proud of him for that.

  
“Well Gerry, you will need to tell me your secret on how you did that, because I can never get him to eat them.” Hillary walked over to the coffee pot that was situated next to the kitchen sink and her mind flashed back to Bill kissing her in front of the sink. She got lost in the memory.

  
“Dr. Rodham... are you sure you are alright?” Gerry now standing next to her.

  
Hillary pulled her focus back.

  
“I am... I am...”. She couldn’t do it any longer, she needed to tell someone, she didn’t have very many friends here in Little Rock and Gerry had been such a warm and welcoming person since she met her. She felt as though she could trust Gerry with this most precious of secrets. “Gerry, I am over the moon.” Hillary exclaimed with a large smile and a brightness in her eyes that Gerry had not seen before.

  
“Is that so?” Gerry was smiling.

  
“I don’t know how it happened or why it has begun to happen Gerry but my heart is being taken.” Hillary turned to look out the kitchen window into the dewy morning.

  
“Hillary, you are falling in love.” Gerry very rarely called Hillary by her first name, but she felt this was a time she would be permitted to break southern manners.

  
Hillary sighed, smiled and turned to face Gerry.

  
“I already am.”

  
Gerry and Hillary spent the rest of the morning before Daniel woke up discussing what she was feeling for this mystery man. Hillary still did not reveal who he was, and Gerry never pressed her on it.

  
Daniel woke up and came downstairs ready to greet Gerry and ask for breakfast when he heard his mother’s voice and he began to run.

  
“Mommy, mommy!” He practically jumped in her arms.

  
“Hello my little explorer! Did you miss me?”

  
“Yes, and so did Wilbur.”

  
“I missed you too sweetheart. What would you like for breakfast?”

  
And just like that it was a perfectly normal day, and a routine week. However without seeing Bill it was difficult. She missed his face, his voice, his hands, his lips. Somehow she managed, but it was extremely difficult.

  
——————————

  
In south east Arkansas the Governor was sitting around a table with top leaders in education, they were brainstorming ideas about how to best take their schools which were dead last in the country and start on the track to getting them on top. However truth be told, Bill wasn’t present. Sure he was sitting there and it looked like he was paying attention but all he could think about was Hillary. Her entire existence was consuming him, he couldn’t focus, all he could think about was the way her eyes sparked from the moon touching them that magical night in the kitchen.

  
Meeting after meeting, town hall after town hall, this is where Bill shined. There was nothing he loved more than talking to the people even if they didn’t vote for him. During the town halls he was laser focused but after he would finish and do his meet and greets he would head back to his motorcade and then the hotel in complete silence. Aides would prepare him for the next meeting or event and he would just nod. They started to notice Bill’s shift in demeanor but they brushed it off as just him being cranky because the budget and education reform was turning out to be more of a struggle than originally thought. But it was so much deeper, it wasn’t crankiness, he was missing the woman whom was healing him and stealing his heart all at the same time.

  
Betsey knew exactly what was going on with him and she tried to keep him as distracted as she could but it was starting to become more and more difficult.

  
“Governor, we will be arriving at the hotel shortly. How about we delay your staff meeting an hour so you can go to your room and relax for a bit... and... maybe make a phone call.” Betsey hadn’t looked up at him when she said it, she continued to jot down notes. Bill looked over at her and a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, then he looked back out the window and watch the beautiful Arkansas landscape rolling by.

  
————————————————-

  
Hillary was just finishing up with her last patient of the day, Mrs. Johnson had just left her abusive husband after 14 years of marriage. Her story was one of empowerment and Hillary loved to talk to her but she was somewhere else mentally.

  
The phone on Gerry’s desk began to ring, Gerry always waits until the 3rd ring before she picks up the office line.

  
Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

  
“Good afternoon, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Hillary Rodham. This is Gerry how may I help you?” Picking up her pencil and getting ready to possibly make an appointment.

  
Bill wasn’t sure how he should do this, but deep breath in and out and here he goes.

  
“Uhh, yes good afternoon. Is Dr. Rodham available?”

 

“No she is not, she is with a patient at the moment. Can I ask who is calling?”

  
“I don’t think you would believe it if I told you ma’am.”

  
“Sir, I don’t want to sound rude but I seriously don’t have time for games. If you tell me who you are I will see if Dr. Rodham will be able to get back to you once she is finished up with her patient.”

  
Here goes.

  
“Gerry is it? This is Bill Clinton, and I was wondering if Dr. Rodham was available to take my call. Since she is with a patient I can just call back later.”

  
Gerry was on the other end of the phone and she was staring at the elevator doors and just blinked a few times.

  
“Governor Clinton, give me a moment please I will see if she is almost finished.”

  
“Thank you.”

  
Gerry took a breath, steadied herself and then called the intercom in Hillary’s office.

  
“Dr. Rodham, sorry to interrupt but could I see you at my desk for a moment it is rather urgent.”

  
Hillary turned her body in her chair to speak behind her into the intercom.

  
“Yes of course Gerry. Melinda, would you excuse me for a moment please.”

  
Melinda just nodded.

  
Hillary got up from her chair and walked to the door and out into the lobby area. She softly closed her door behind her.

  
“Yes, Gerry? Is everything alright?”

  
Hillary was extremely concerned, hoping Gerry did not get news about one of her patients.

  
“Dr, the Governor is on the line holding to speak with you.”

  
It didn’t register at first.

  
“What Governor?”

  
Gerry looked at her a little awkwardly.

  
“Hillary (She whispered.) it is the Governor of Arkansas on the line.”

  
Hillary’s eyes went as wide as saucers, she started to feel butterflies and tingles all over her body. Oh my god, he was really on the phone for her. Her cheeks got red and she looked flushed.

  
“Okay, so here is what we are going to do. I am going to wrap up the session with Melinda. Then you can put the call through.”

  
Gerry wasn’t sure how to take her bosses behavior, she could definitely sense something was out of the norm.

  
“Yes of course Dr. Rodham.” Gerry picked up the receiver ready to take Bill off hold and she watched Hillary walk back into her office with a very school girl smile on her face. “Governor Clinton, she is just quickly wrapping up with her patient and then she will be able to take your call. Would you be willing to wait on a brief hold while she finishes?”

  
“Of course.”

  
“Thank you sir.”

  
————————————————-

  
Hillary had opened her office door to walk Melinda to Gerry’s desk.

  
“Well Melinda, today was a great session for you. Remember the healing takes time and I want to see you twice next week, Gerry will be able to set up those appointments for you.”

  
“Thank you Dr. Rodham.”

  
“My pleasure dear. Gerry

  
“Gerry if you wouldn’t mind could you go ahead and patch that call through.”

  
“Right away Doctor. One moment Melinda.”

  
Gerry picked up the phone and tapped the line that Bill was very patiently waiting on.

  
“Sir, are you still there?”

  
“Yes, I am Gerry.”

  
“Excellent, I am transferring you to Dr. Rodham right now. Thank you for waiting.”

  
“Thank you Gerry.”

  
“My pleasure sure.”

  
Bill all of a sudden got nervous, it had been a while since he heard her voice and he wasn’t sure how to react. All he knew is he missed her terribly and he needed to hear that beautiful voice.

  
Hillary damn near sprinted to her desk after she shut her office door, she steadied herself and waited for her phone to ring.

  
Ring...

  
A steady breath, and she picked up the phone.

  
“Hello.”

  
Silence...

  
“Hello... Bill... are you there?”

  
Silence...  
Her voice was even more angelic over the phone line and he froze forgetting for a moment who and where he was. Yes, for a moment Bill Clinton was speechless.

  
“Bill?”

  
“Hello, darlin’. Sorry I... well I...”

  
“Is everything alright Bill?”

  
“Yes, I just... well I just really missed the sound of your voice to be honest and I got lost in the sound when you answered.”

  
Hillary began to blush.

  
“That’s sweet to say. I really missed the sound of yours as well.”

  
Now it was Bill’s turn to blush.

  
“How is everything going? Are you making any headway on the education reform?”

  
She was genuinely curious and as a mother with a school aged child she was concerned about the level of education her son would be receiving.

  
“Well we are makin’ a lot of headway but we still have a long ways to go. We are getting a lot of really great ideas from successful teachers and school board members as well as parents but it, it just isn’t enough. I really feel like we are thinking to small but I am afraid if I push back to much they will resist any and all change. It’s quite the balancing act.”

  
She had kicked off her shoes and was twirling her foot as Bill was talking, like a teenager in love. He sounded even more handsome and smart over the phone and she was getting so lost in his accent, her body was flush.

  
“When do you come back to Little Rock?”

  
“Tomorrow night we should be back around 6 o’clock.”

  
She was wondering how soon she would see him again, the last week had been difficult not seeing him. But his schedule was so busy that they just couldn’t find time to have a session much less anything else.

  
“I was wondering if you might like to come over for dinner tomorrow night around say 8 o’clock.”

  
Was he reading her mind?

  
“I would really like that.”

  
Bill smiled a big smile on the other end of the phone.

  
“Great, it’s a date then. I will see you at 8, I can’t wait.”

  
“I look forward to it Bill. See you tomorrow night.”

  
“Good night Hillary.”

Oh god the way he said her name sent shivers through her body.

  
“Good night Bill.”

  
Both hung up with huge wide smiles on their faces. It was a slow burn but boy oh boy were things about to change between them. The pieces on the chessboard were now in rapid motion.


	16. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The official first date has finally arrived!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy... I really hope you all enjoy this update, it took me a few days to write it and get the flow just right. I know this is a slow developing story but it’s just I don’t want to rush it, I am loving writing this story and I don’t want to regret any of it when it’s all said and done.
> 
> Hugs friends!

Hillary had already made arrangements for Gerry to watch Daniel for the night, she felt bad asking Gerry again, but Gerry was all to thrilled to help watch Daniel. Not only is he a great kid but ever since she lost her husband she liked not spending the nights alone.

  
To be honest Hillary wasn’t sure where the night would go so she wanted to make sure Daniel was prepared for her possibly not being there to take him to camp in the morning. That morning at breakfast she told him that Gerry would be picking him up from camp because she had an important meeting she needed to attend. She didn’t like lying to him but she was cautious, if she allowed Daniel to know to much he might get attached to Bill and if something were to happen between them, then Daniel would suffer. It was bad enough she took him so far away from his father to begin with, but to lose another male in his life could be devestating to Daniel. The life of a single parent, you make decisions based on your children more than yourself and when you ‘date’ some people can’t handle the baggage.

  
To be fair, Bill wasn’t like that. She was so grateful for that, but on the same hand Hillary wanted to see where the two of them went first before she brought Daniel around Bill more.

  
She had Gerry clear her schedule for the morning so she could get ready. Now did she need to spruce herself up? Hell no! But she wanted to look special tonight, I mean it was a date after all, right? So she went to the beauty parlor and had her hair done, usually her hair can be a bit curly and frizzy in this Arkansas humid heat, so she had them put a straightener in and well let’s just say... she even left herself speechless when she saw herself in the mirror. She went to buy a new dress, typically Bill saw her in her work skirt suits so she wanted something very nice. She settled on the this lovely cross between a blue and lavender shape hugging dress that the woman at the department store said made her look like a Hollywood movie star. When she got home from shopping, she...... well let’s just say she “prepared” all areas.

  
Bill had informed her earlier that morning that they would be arriving back in Little Rock earlier than expected and wondered if she could meet him at the Governor’s mansion while he finished up a few meetings. So she being the model of preparedness was promptly ready, she made sure she had everything she needed in her hand bag and she was ready to head to her car when there was a knock on her door.

  
“Oh dear, who on earth could that be.” She didn’t want to be late, so whomever it was needed to be quick.

  
She went to the front door, unlocked it and opened it to be greeted by someone holding a very large boutique of flowers. She was confused.

  
“Hello?” She called out to the person.

  
The boutique moved and there he stood, dressed in a perfectly form fitting suit, with a large smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. She needed a second for it to register, that he had truly surprised her and her face filled with blush.

  
“Bill.” Was all that could come out.

  
He stood there looking at this magnificent beauty in front of him. He did this to surprise her and be romantic, however when he saw her... the hair, the make up and that dress on my that dress he was speechless. He never thought she could look more beautiful and he was so damn glad he was wrong.

  
“You look amazing, Hillary.”

  
She couldn’t stop blushing.

  
“Thank you, you look very handsome yourself Governor.” She titled her head down.

  
“These are for you.” He handed her the large bouqtiue of flowers.

  
“They are beautiful Bill, please come in while I get a vase to put them in.” He came into the foyer.

  
“I will only be a minute.” Off she went to the kitchen and all he could do was stare at her from the back, the dress had an opening at the back and he was sure he never wanted to touch or kiss an area of a woman more than that small area peaking out at him.

  
As promised she was back in a few minutes.

  
“Shall we get going?” She asked Bill.

  
He extended his hand to take hers into his. “Right this way madam.”

  
He lead her out the door and after locking the front door her lead her down the porch her and into his waiting car. She wasn’t sure what she was in store for tonight but she didn’t care. Never in her adult life did a man treat her with more respect than he did since the moment she met him. Which made his demons even more difficult to understand, often times when she comes across cases like Bill’s they are serial abusers, not respectful of woman at all. Bill wasn’t at all that way, she always they professional she filed that away in her mental notes for a session. Tonight however was just about her and Bill, nothing more nothing less.

  
He reached for her hand and looked into her eyes. “I hope you don’t mind us having dinner at the mansion, difficult for me to go to a restaurant in town. Plus I wanted tonight to be special for you.”

  
“I don’t mind, I rather like the quiet and privacy.” Hillary wanted to assure him that she didn’t need fancy restaurants, she is a simple midwestern girl.

  
“Do you like to dance?” He asked.

  
“Yes.” Simple answer. Good he liked that about her, she didn’t waste words, she didn’t use 5 words when she could use one.

  
“Thank you for agreeing to have dinner with me tonight.” Bill was sounding more like a nervous High School kid out on his first date than a grown man.

  
“Well to be honest, I couldn’t say no.” She smiled at him and left it at that, they were just about at the Governor’s mansion.

  
She didn’t know it yet but she was about to feel like Cinderella.

  
——————————————————-

  
They arrived at the Governors mansion and Bill had gotten out and opened the door for her and extended a hand to assist her. He was treating her delicately almost like she was the most fragile piece of glass he had ever held. He wrapped her arm around his and lead her inside. What awaited her inside was a white light wonderland. Tons of white Christmas lights were strung all around, making it look and feel like a fancy restaurant.

  
“I hope you don’t mind I had one of my favorite local chefs in town come in to prepare us a fantastic dinner.” Bill leaned in to her side and told her. She was still speechless at the way the mansion looked, she couldn’t believe he did all this for her. After a few moments of her not speaking he started to get a bit concerned. He wondered if maybe he over did it a bit.

“Hillary? Is everything alright?” Concern laced in his words.

She snapped back to the here and now. “Oh yes, sorry I was just lost in my thoughts there for a moment.”

“Is it too much? I told my staff to make it look and feel like a high end restaurant.” Bill said while trying to catch her magnificent eyes.

She titled her head to look at him, locked deep in his eyes. “It’s so beautiful Bill, I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

He smiled. “You deserve to be treated like a queen Hillary.”

All she could do was blush.

“Shall we head to the dinning room?” He asked.

“That would be lovely, I am a bit hungry, I didn’t have lunch.” She shyly admitted.

As they entered the dinning room the white lights continued and there were so many candles and flowers she was speechless again. But to be honest what really caught her eye was a shiny brass object sitting next to one of the seats. Her curiosity over took her.

“Bill it look so amazing in here, but I am curious what is that?” She pointed at the object. He looked over at what had her attention, he smiled and turned back to her.

“That is my favorite saxophone, I was going to play for you after dinner. If that is alright with you?”

“You play the saxophone?” She asked.

“Yes, ever since I was a boy. I considered becoming a professional jazz musician but I am not nearly good enough to make an honest living as one so I went with my second passion. Politics.” He chuckled and Hillary’s heart just fell deeper in love with this man.

“Well I very much look forward to the after dinner entertainment then.” She smiled at him.

He lead her to her chair, pulled it out for her and then gently pushed her in. Wine was brought out and the first portions of their romantic meal. However Bill was on a secret mission. Thus far their relationship it was about him, now granted it was for the purpose of his healing, but he realized on the way back to Little Rock from his trip, after Hillary agreed to the date, that he knew very little about her. Only what was in her bio as he was searching for the right therapist. He wanted to get to know her, open her up and truth be told he wanted to know any and everything about her.

He began.

“Hillary, it occurred to me that since we met and began our ‘working’ relationship, the topic has been all about me. I guess in a way that is how it works, you try to open me up by learning more about me and my past.” She simply nodded as she took a bite of her cranberry almond salad. “I want to know more about you. All I know of you is what was in your bio and of course I know about Daniel.”

She smiled, she thought it was sweet that he did his homework on her but it was even more sweet that he wanted to get to know her better.

“What would you like to know? I promise to be an open book.”

“So let’s start off with easy stuff and then we can get more personal.” Bill said it almost in a challenging way.

“Okay.” Smile answer yet again and he resisted the urge to smile.

“I know you are originally from Chicago, were you born there?”

“Yes, I have lived in Chicago my whole life, or more specifically I should say I was born in Chicago the city but I was raised in the suburbs. About 15 minutes outside the city, in a town called Park Ridge.”

“What was it like growing up there?” He was genuinely curious because if his biological father had lived he would have lived in Chicago and he to be honest had wondered would he have met her in that life.

“It was wonderful, I grew up in a very conservative neighborhood, it was definitely like growing up in ‘Leave It To Beaver’.” She laughed.

“Any brother’s or sister’s?”

“2 younger brothers, Hugh and Tony.”

Salad’s finished and the next course came out.

“Parents?”

“Yes I have 2 of those.” She let out her big laugh and Bill was sure he never heard a sound more beautiful. He laughed himself realizing he didn’t actually ask his question.

“I meant what are their names. I should have let my brain and mouth catch one another.” Still smiling.

“My father’s name is Hugh and my mother’s name is Dorthy.” She was still laughing.

It went on like like that for well over an hour, their food courses placed in front of them, 2 bottles of win gone and he was learning so much about her youth. He wanted to get to the tougher questions however.

“What made you want to become a therapist?”

“I grew up in the Methodist faith and I was taught that we must do all the good we can. My mother had a very hard childhood, filled with a lot of neglect and abuse from her biological mother and father. They were very young when they had my mother and my Aunt, so instead of nurturing them, they were sent on a train to California to live with their grandmother and she used my mother as a housemaid. When she was just 14 she worked for a wealthy family as a live in nanny and housemaid and they were very kind to her. They allowed her to attend school as long as it didn’t interfere with her chores. So growing up hearing my mother’s story and when I went to Wellesley and then to Yale I did a lot of work with many children’s study centers.”

Bill was caught off guard. ‘Did she say Yale?’

“Wait you went to Yale?” Quickly interrupting her.

“Yes, I went for my graduate degree. I worked at the Yale-New Haven Hospital studying cases of child abuse and I offered free therapy sessions to child of abuse. After knowing what my mother went through as a child I wanted to do everything I could and can to make sure that other children don’t go through the kind of abuse my mother did.”

Bill was so impressed by her and shocked to find out that his staff when putting together her bio for him either left out she went to Yale or didn’t know.

“I went to Yale as well. Law school in fact.”

Hillary titled her head at him.

“You did? When did you graduate?” She asked playing dumb, of course she knew he had gone to Yale.

“1973, you?”

She looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes.

“1973.”

“So we were on campus together at the exact same time and we never met? Small world.” He said surprised but even more intrigued.

“Well after I graduated I went back to Park Ridge, did some pro bono therapy work before I met my ex husband.”

And this is where Bill wanted his little Q&A session to go, now it was his turn to open her up.

“Tell me about him.”

Hillary pushed out a breathe, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go into this tonight. She was having such a wonderful night and she didn’t want her history with Matthew to bring down the whole thing.

  
“Please.” He said barely above a whisper and then reached out to touch her hand. His eyes were pleading in that sad puppy dog way and she relented.

“What would you like to know about him?”

“How did you met, I don’t know I want to hear your story your history.” His thumb was rubbing on the back of her hand and it was shocking her to her core. What if she told her story and he wanted to run or only then just wanted to keep their ‘relationship’ professional.

  
“I had arrived back home in Park Ridge after graduating and I was looking for a job, I was getting a little frustrated in not finding anything right away. I thought I just went through 7 years of college and even an Ivy League degree and nothing. (She chuckled.). So my childhood friend Betsey one night wanted to cheer me up, I was living with my parents at the time and she took me to a party. Well after about an hour at this party she was starting to feel sick, she was looking a little off and then all of a sudden she just started throwing up. I was in a panic so I took her to the emergency room, that night is when I met Matthew, that’s my ex husbands name. He was a resident at the hospital and when he came to look over Betsey he began to flirt with me, she teased me about that for a very long time. ‘I was dying and all my best friend could do was flirt with my doctor.’ He asked for my number and we then started dating.”

  
“How long before you got married?”

  
“We dated for a year, then he got the news that he was accepted into the neurosurgery program at Northwestern Hospital and that night as we were celebrating his big news he pulled a box out in front of all our friends and family and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.”

  
“Sounds romantic.” Bill said it but there was no jealousy in his words he was genuinely listening and enjoying this chance to get to know her.

  
“Yes, well it turns out that would be the last romantic thing he did.” She half smiled. Bill rested his thumb and forefinger on his chin. ‘So there is hurt behind those blue eyes.’

  
“So if you don’t mind me asking, what went wrong?”

  
She pushed out a breath. “Oh, so so many things.” She chuckled.

  
“We got married relatively quickly, our engagement was only 6 months, he wanted to be married before he began the rigors of the program. He said he was looking forward to coming home to his wife after a long hard day. I became pregnant and had Daniel a year after we were married, I stayed home with him for about 9 months and then I found a job at a practice and I loved it. We were a happy little family for a few years, but, as he started becoming a more renowned neurosurgeon we purchased our first home. Not long after that his... how should I say this... eyes and hands started to wander.”

  
Bill felt like he just took a punch to the gut. How? Was the only question on his mind. How could someone do that to her? But now it also made sense her deep knowledge of his issues.... she had first hand experience.

  
“Hillary...”. She stopped him, she didn’t want pitty, she didn’t want people feeling sorry for her.

  
“The first time I learned about it, he confessed to it and he said he was so sorry, the stress at work and all just got the better of him and he made a terribly mistake. I got the same excuse after the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th times. I buried myself in my work and helping with a lot of child abuse cases for free as well as growing my own career and I paid no mind to his wandering eye. I think after the 3rd time I, I just fell out of love with him. To be honest I don’t know if I ever really was in love with him, but I stayed for my son. I wanted my son to have his father in his life but it was beginning to take a toll on Daniel, mommy and daddy were barely speaking and barely in the same room together when Matthew was home, we were not sleeping in the same bed, it was very unhealthy. Finally one day I got a phone call from one of my very nosy neighbors that Matthew had arrived home with a young woman and she thought she saw them kissing in the driveway before they entered the house. When he cheated before it was always at the hospital or at a hotel and it was always a young new nurse. So after I hung up the phone I drove home and caught him in bed with the newest one. I confronted him and then I packed some things for me and Daniel and I left.”

  
“How did Daniel handle that?”

  
“At first he didn’t understand why we left daddy, he had only just turned 5 but I tried as best as I could to explain the situation. It was a struggle but now we all get along and Matthew takes him every other weekend.”

  
Bill titled his head. “Matthew lives here as well?”

  
“Oh no, are you kidding leave his Head of Neurosurgeon position and his very large salary. No we have an arrangement that either I will fly up with Daniel to Chicago, or he or Giselle, that’s his new girlfriend will come down and get him. Giselle is great with Daniel and we really do all get along.”

  
“How has Daniel adjusted to all the traveling?”

  
“Oh he loves it, he has the regular flight attendants wrapped around his little finger.” She laughed her big beautiful laugh.

  
“Well you all must be doing something right, because he is an amazing kid.”

  
She beamed. “Thank you.” So now that was able to pry some info from her she was ready to hear this almost jazz musician. “So Bill, when do I get the concert?” Her smile was radiant and it lightened the room even more.

  
“Well you are in luck because I have had they required glasses of wine to play and not worry about embarrassing myself.” He smiled at her, rose from the chair and took the saxophone from the stand and prepared to play it. “Ok, now don’t laugh, I didn’t have enough time to practice before our date.”

  
She was sitting with her legs crossed and she place her left elbow on the table and turned her hand back to rest her chin on it in anticipation of his playing. “Girl Scouts honor, I won’t laugh.”

  
“Well since you swore on your sacred honor...”. He began to laugh and she followed suit.

 

He played a few notes to get his fingering right and the reed soft, and then he because to playa soft mellow jazz tune. She never took her eyes off of him once he began to play. It was so sexy and romantic all at the same time and she was feeling so many emotions. Once he finished the song they smiled at each other. Then out of nowhere jazz music was playing, he removed the sax from around his neck placed it back on it’s stand, he took a large inhale of breath and turned to her and extended his hand.

  
“Could I ask you for the honor of this dance?”

  
She blushed some more, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

  
“I would love too.” The red in her cheeks never leaving as she took his hand and stood up.

  
He brought her into his body and framed them, they fit together so perfectly, even though she was only 5 foot 6 inches with the heels she was wearing and he was 6’1”, they looked perfect together. Their movements were even more perfect, they were in sync with one another as though they had been together forever. She let him lead her and she felt safe in his arms. His right hand resting at the small of her back and her left hand resting on his right shoulder. It was so magical being in his arms and they never broke eye contact as they kept dancing. She felt like a princess.

  
“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

  
She was thrown by the question, why was he asking her that question? He didn’t ask in his study and he certainly didn’t ask in her foyer, something was off.

  
“Why are you asking Bill?”

  
“Because the last times I never asked your permission and you deserve to be treated better than that.”

  
She couldn’t believe how sweet he was being.

  
“Yes.” He seemed a bit confused. “Yes Bill, you may kiss me.”

  
Well he didn’t need to be told twice and within seconds his lips were gently on hers, she was afraid for a moment that this was perhaps a dream and she would be waking up soon. She almost pinched herself.

  
They kept dancing like that for a good while before Bill stunned her.

  
“Hillary, tonight was so very special to me I hope you know that.”

  
“I do Bill, and I feel the same way.” Oh was she wondering what he next had in store for her.

  
“I think we should end this magically night here, may I take you home?”

  
‘Hang on, did he say take me home? That’s it? Date done.’

  
“I know what you are thinking, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t mess this up for anything in the world, you are so much more important to me than... than... I am sorry I am having trouble finding the appropriate terminology here.” He closed his eyes and steadied himself, she left him do what he felt he needed to do, believe it or not she was very very proud of him. He was fighting his demons right now, she was sure his addictive brain was telling him to take her to bed, she could see his conflict. “You are a lady Hillary, you are not some cheap fling. I am without a doubt falling more and more in love with you and I don’t want to mess up anything, I want to make sure for once in my life I do something right.”

  
She reached up to rub her soft hand on his face.

  
“Thank you Bill. I cannot tell you what that means to me, and I am so proud of you for taking control of your demons. I know this won’t be easy for you but the other night you asked me to wait for you...”

  
His eyes were so deeply penetrating her soul.

  
“And I will. Because Bill, I am falling more and more in love with you too.”

  
They kissed again.

  
He took her home and walked her up to her front door, kissed her again and they said their good nights. She was floating on a cloud and unaware of prying eyes. Gerry was sitting in the living room reading a book when she heard car doors and she looked out the window to see her boss with the Governor’s arm draped around her and yes she even saw the kiss. Gerry smiled and when she realized Hillary was opening the door she scrambled back to the arm chair she was sitting in.

  
“Good evening doctor, I didn’t expect you to be home so early.”

  
“Truth be told Gerry, neither did I.”

 


	17. No Longer A Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hillary finally opens up to a trusted friend about her “relationship” with the Governor. Will her friend understand or discourage her from following what her heart is telling her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in the update, I’ve been so busy between the two jobs that I just work and sleep now at this point. 
> 
> I’m sorry the chapter is short, but I loved this idea when I was thinking about what direction I wanted to take the story. It’s a buffer if you will for the next phase of the story.
> 
> Also those asking about little Henry Clinton... well I have good news on that front!! I’m currently writing the next one shot for him, so I hope to be done that quickly. 
> 
> My schedule will be changing soon and I will be getting a whole day during the week to myself so I’ll have more time to focus on my Billary FanFic writings. I’ve got a few ideas in the works!!!! Stay tuned!
> 
> As always friends I hope you enjoy the update and hugs to you all for still supporting this amazing fanfic community.

Her boss kissed the Governor, she was sure of it, she was sure that is what she saw when she looked out the window. Hillary and the Governor kissing, but now the question going through her head was, does she bring it up? She was very happy for Hillary but she knew the rumors about the Governor, how could she not? People in a small southern town tend to talk. Did Hillary know these rumors? Was she aware of Bill Clinton’s wandering eyes? There was only one way to find out.

 

  
“Shall we have some coffee before I go Hillary?” Gerry trying to get her to sit and relax so she could in fact ask her about it without sounding intrusive. To be fair it really wasn’t any of her business but she liked her boss very much and even thought a friend and she didn’t want to see her friend get hurt.

 

  
“That would be wonderful Gerry, let’s head into the kitchen so we don’t wake Daniel.” Hillary and Gerry made their way into the kitchen.

 

  
Gerry still didn’t know how to broach the subject so she decided to ask light questions in the hopes that Hillary would willingly offer up more details.

 

  
“So Dr. Rodham how was the evening?” Gerry sat down at the counter as Hillary began to prepare the coffee maker to brew them a pot. She was still on cloud nine however so she instantly smiled when the question was asked.

 

  
“Gerry it was...” She hesitated a moment to find the right word, as she allowed the events of the evening to replay back in her mind. “It was incredible. I don’t know how else to describe it.” She turned to look at Gerry and she was glowing. Gerry was so happy for her but still very much concerned.

 

  
“Well I am very happy for you ma’am, you are glowing.”

 

  
“Gerry please call me Hillary, we are practically family, and I think of you as a mother hen.” Hillary smiled and placed her hand on Gerry’s.

 

  
With what Hillary just said Gerry now felt she had to tell her what she saw, no whether or not Hillary would tell her was an entirely different story.

 

  
“Hillary, I am glad you said that, it makes me feel special. I think of both you and Daniel as family too, I love that little boy. And I love you, which is why I need to talk to you about something, well not talk so much as confess.” Gerry looked down at her hand that Hillary’s was resting on, she wasn’t sure she could make eye contact with Hillary when she brought up what she witnessed.

 

  
“Gerry you can tell me anything.” Hillary squeezed her hand in a effort to encourage her.

 

  
_‘Here we go.’_ Gerry thought.

 

  
“Well just before you came home, well more specifically just before you came into the house I heard a noise outside so I stood up from the chair where I was reading from and I saw you on the front porch... with a man.” Gerry paused. Hillary’s heart raced. “Not just any man... I saw you kissing the Governor.” Hillary’s face sank, how could she be so careless. “Hillary, I know it is none of my business and I want you to know I am very happy for you, however I also want to protect you because you are my friend. He has quite the reputation of being a ladies man, you hear stories at the coffee shop and you try and ignore them but sometimes you can’t.” Suddenly Hillary squeezed Gerry’s hand and she looked up at Hillary.

 

  
“Gerry I need to be honest with you as well, I am not supposed to talk about it but I trust you with my son which means I can trust you with this. I know all about his womanizing.” Gerry looked at her confused but knew it best to stay quiet as Hillary explained. “Do you remember a few weeks ago when his Chief of Staff came to the office to speak with me?” Gerry just simply nodded. “Well, I assumed it was to discuss the work we were doing for the countless victims we were helping. I thought, _‘Wow the Governor knows about the free clinic we started.’_ However it wasn’t that at all. Now Gerry I don’t need to explain to you that what I am about to say is to be held within the strictest confidence and it cannot leave the two of us.”

 

  
“That goes without saying ma’am.” Gerry responded.

 

  
“She came to me because members of his staff, members whom he trusts very deeply had staged an intervention with him about his philandering. They were worried about him, not just politically but personally as well. Betsey is like a big sister to him so she wanted to help him. He agreed to get help, but he wanted to pick the therapist so he asked for those members of his staff to compile a detailed group of candidates. I was the one he chose. So I have been treating since Betsey came to the office.” Hillary stopped because the coffee had finished brewing, she grabbed some cups and saucers and a tin of cookies. Somehow she got the feeling this was going to be a long night.

 

  
“Well, first off I am glad he realized he needed help, I know he is a good man. I wouldn’t have voted for him if I didn’t think he was. Secondly, and you can tell me if it’s none of my business but how did it get from you being his therapist to kissing him on your front porch?” Hillary poured Gerry’s coffee and slide the cup and saucer over to her, and a smile tugged at her mouth.

 

  
“Well, that I can’t explain. I had never seen the Governor before so when the car came to pick me up for our first session at the mansion I was totally in the dark about him. I felt it better that way in order to give him the best care I could. So I was standing in his foyer and I turned to see this amazing replica of a Mark Rothko painting I heard him call to me and I turned to see him for the first time. I can’t describe it Gerry, I was smitten at the first look at him. So handsome, so tall, so dashing, I was lost before I said a single word.” Hillary poured her coffee and was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

 

  
“Daniel and I were personal guests of his at the carnival and then the night he showed up here at the house he kissed me in his study and all I could feel was electricity running through my body the moment his lips touched mine. He kissed me again here in the foyer. The next day he took me to where he grew up and where he was raised. He wanted me to see for myself the pain he went through and bottled away.” Gerry was listening intently.

 

  
“I was worried about him that night, after recalling such trauma that you have locked away you can tend to have a breakdown or a trigger moment. We talked for hours in his kitchen I was able to establish patterns and find his trigger point, I then went up to bed in the guest room. Next thing I know I can’t sleep and I went down to the kitchen for some water, and there he was standing in just his pajama pants and his chest bare and I couldn’t think, all I could do was stare. My god Gerry, I was lost in his beauty.” Gerry was smiling, she could tell by the way Hillary was smiling and sparkling that she was deeply in love.

 

  
“We kissed again, but it was more passionate then the first two times. It was slow, it was careful, it was romantic. He made me feel special, something I had never felt with Matthew. Then before he came home from his trip around the state he called and well invited me to dinner, I don’t understand why or how it is happening Gerry but I’ve never felt this way before. He isn’t pushy or forward, he is gentle and kind, but of course I do have my guard up slightly just in case but it doesn’t feel like an act to me.” Hillary let out a breath and was just looking at Gerry, hoping that she wouldn’t judge her to harshly.

 

  
“Hillary, you deserve to be happy, you deserve someone that makes you feel like you and only you exist in their world. If he makes you feel those things then, I am over the moon for you. I do caution you however, but he asked for help and was open for healing and that has to account for something. Just remember to take it slow, because yes right now, you feel on top of the world but you are still his doctor and you will have to break him to heal him and he could resent you for that.” Gerry said lovingly.

 

  
“Thank you Gerry. I needed to talk about all this, I knew I couldn’t but I had too, I am not one to keep secrets and I knew you of all people would understand and be an ear to listen.” Hillary reached over again for her hand.

 

  
“Of course Hillary, anytime you need me I will be here in a jiffy or a phone call away.” Gerry rested her other hand on top of Hillary’s and the women smiled at one another. “Also, your secret is safe with me.” And with that a wink followed.

 

  
The ladies remained in the kitchen and Hillary told Gerry all about the date and how Bill played his saxophone for her and they danced to the most romantic jazz music she had ever heard. It felt so freeing for Hillary to open up about everything.

 

  
However, both she and Bill were unaware that a nasty storm was brewing.

 

  
As Gerry and Hillary were occupied in the kitchen an anonymous person had written two letters. One was slipped into the mailbox at the Governor’s mansion and the other was slipped into Hillary’s mailbox. Hillary and Bill were about to board a roller coaster neither one was prepared to ride.


	18. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the most magical night of their lives, Bill and Hillary are about to enter into the worst day of their lives. Will this make them closer and stronger or will it threaten to tear their blossoming relationship apart?

Hillary woke up early the next morning, she and Gerry had stayed up rather late talking about Bill and the new nature their relationship. It felt like she and Gerry were in high school again fawning over the cutest boy in school. Hillary had insisted that Gerry spend the night in the guest room because it was just too late for her to drive home. Since moving to Arkansas she didn’t really know very many people so Gerry really has been her best friend here and she is so incredibly thankful to have her in her life.

 

Daniel and Gerry were both still asleep so Hillary decided to head down to the kitchen and start breakfast and of course the coffee. After she went through her morning routine in her en suite, she grabbed her robe from the hook and she made her way down into the kitchen. For some reason Hillary felt the sun was brighter today, for some reason the birds singing was more beautiful today and the flowers in her garden were more vibrant than before. Why? Because she was starting to see colors again and hear the beauty of music again.

 

Since her divorce she wouldn’t admit it but she was depressed, although, no one would have known because she would hide it extremely well. When you are so committed to another human being the way she was committed to Matthew, and they stray and betray your relationship and love... you blame yourself. You think about all the things you could have or should have done differently and then you begin to question if you are worthy enough at all. It is a vicious struggle that happens inside a human being when they are betrayed like that. Which is why right after she got the courage finally to leave Matthew, she shifted her clientele to woman and men who have been abused, assaulted, cheated on, etc. She oddly enough found strength through hearing her patients find the courage to keep going. She loves what she does, she loves her beautiful son and she was fine believing she would never find that one person to share all her love and joy with. She was wrong, and this morning she couldn’t be happier being wrong.

 

  
———————————————

 

 

As the coffee began to brew she went down to the mailbox to retrieve the morning paper, she loved the local Little Rock paper. It highlighted so many of the local places to go to and every time she and Daniel would test one of the restaurants in the Featured Foods section they were never disappointed.

 

As she bent down to grab the newspaper at the end of the walkway she noticed that the flag on her mailbox was up.

 

“Oh shoot I must have forgotten to grab the mail yesterday before Bill picked me up.” She said.

 

She reached in and sure enough she did forget it, she pulled all of it from the box and quickly made her way back inside. She didn’t think it was a good idea to stand out on the walkway sorting through her mail in her robe.

 

When she made her way back into the kitchen Gerry was up and pouring the coffee.

 

“Good morning Gerry!” Hillary greeted her.

 

“Good morning doctor.” Gerry smiled and winked a bit.

 

“How did you sleep? Since we were up until all hours of the night like two fluttering eyed high school girls?” Hillary asked. She put the paper on the counter to read and she tossed her mail in her briefcase, she would read it later at the office.

 

“Very well, Hillary. I always enjoy that guest bedroom, there is a bird’s nest right in the tree outside the window and it’s wonderful to have their singing as an alarm clock.” They both laughed.

 

They spent the remainder of the time before Daniel woke up talking about current events and of course their agenda for the day.

 

  
——————————————-

 

 

The Governor woke up with an extra pep in his step. Like clockwork he woke up at 5 in the morning, did his routine and then changed into his running attire. Went down into the kitchen poured some orange juice had a small bite to eat and then proceeded to the front door. But not before making a stop in the dinning room where his saxophone was still sitting and remembering what happened the night before. He smiled and moved to the foyer. Once he made his way to the front porch he began his stretching, the State Troopers that follow him when he jogs already ready to begin.

 

“Alright gentlemen lets go.” Bill said to them, and away they went.

 

Bill loves to jog, it helps him clear his mind and balances him. Today however he was already clear and balanced, so he used his time to reflect on the previous night and reflect on his therapy. When Hillary told him he has trigger moments he began to search back into his vast mental database, to see if he could determine if each reckless act was triggered. Hillary had encouraged him to do it and if he found what he thought was a trigger moment that he write it down so they could dive into it in their next session. So he was doing that, reflecting back and writing down those moments that began his recklessness... and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture. He knew it wouldn’t but it was necessary to fix his broken places.

 

When he got back to the mansion a few of his staffers were arriving to go over the days agenda with the Governor. He was greeted at the front door by his secretary.

 

“Sir the staff is assembling in your office, there was also some mail delivered here that I have placed on your desk for you too look at.”

 

“Thank you Nancy, I will be down in bit. Make sure the staff is ready to go over the budget numbers.” Bill said to his secretary before he made his way up to his private bedroom, to shower and get dressed.

 

  
Sitting on his desk was a envelop containing a letter that would take his happy day and spin it on it’s heels.

 

  
———————————————-

 

 

Gerry arrived at the office to get it opened and ready to begin Hillary’s busy day of clients, with all the rearranging of her schedule the past couple of weeks she would be dealing with back to to back session for most of the next few days. Hillary arrived not to long after Gerry, and after she dropped Daniel off at camp.

 

“Dr, it is a busy schedule today. Your first appointment is in about 20 minutes, Mrs. Dameron.”

 

“Okay thank you Gerry, I am going to get set up awhile and read some mail I missed yesterday. Let me know as soon as Mrs. Dameron arrives, if I start her session early perhaps we can be ahead of schedule for the day.” With that she smiled at Gerry and entered her office.

 

 

——————————————-

 

 

Bill came down from his shower and getting into his suit, he entered his office where his staff was waiting for him.

 

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this budget dealt with and passed.” He said as he entered the room. He walked directly over to the serving table where the coffee was, poured himself a cup and went to sit at his desk. His staff was already beginning the discussion, he would listen but he wouldn’t jump in unless he had to or he was asked a question.

 

He thought that while the staff discussed numbers he would just quick open up the mail Nancy said was waiting for him on the desk. He picked up the envelope that was in the shape of a card, he took his letter opener and sliced the top and pulled out the paper inside. As he read the words his face drained of color. Betsy noticed his shift and she got up and walked over to him.

 

“Governor?” She whispered, but he didn’t answer. He just stared at the words on the piece of paper. “Bill? What’s wrong?” Betsy placed her hand on his shoulder and he snapped out of it and looked at her, it was as if the wind had been knocked out of his lungs and she was sure she saw a tear in his eye.

 

  
————————————————-

 

 

Hillary was sitting at her desk sorting through the mail when she came across an envelope that was the shape of a card, she pondered for a moment. ‘Who would be sending me a card?’ She examined the envelope but their was no return address on it, there was no postage stamp, nor a stamp that it had been sorted by the post office. So she concluded that perhaps one of her neighbors might have slipped it into her mailbox. Without any more hesitation she sliced open the top with her letter opener and pulled the piece of paper out from inside.

  
CRASH!

 

Gerry was startled when she heard the loud sound of a dish breaking in Hillary’s office, before she could ask if her boss was okay.....

 

“GERRY! GERRY!” Hillary screamed, she sounding like she was in pain.

 

Gerry sprung from her desk quickly and entered Hillary’s office without hesitation. Hillary’s hand was bleeding, she tried to stop the tea cup and saucer from leaving her hand but instead a broken piece had sliced her hand.

 

“Oh my god, Hillary! Are you alright?” Gerry grabbed something to try and stop the bleeding. “Hillary, I am calling the doctor we have to get this looked at. It’s deep.” Gerry was wrapping Hillary’s hand, but Hillary was quiet. Almost catatonic.

 

“Hillary... Hillary...”. Without anymore hesitation Gerry lifted her to her feet and they started walking, or at least trying to. When they reached the elevator, the bell rang and the doors opened.

 

Gerry cursed herself, _‘Dammit Mrs. Dameron, of all the times for you to be on time this is the time you pick.’_ However when the doors opened much to Gerry’s surprise there were two uniformed State Troopers getting off.

 

“Ma’am... Dr. Rodham?” The troopers were trying to get Hillary’s attention.

 

“Ma’am we can take her from here, we will take her directly to the hospital. Was she reading anything?” The one trooper took Hillary in his arms, as the other addressed Gerry.

 

“Yes, she was in her office reading her mail before her first appointment showed up.” Gerry explained.

 

The other trooper ran into Hillary’s office and found the envelope and letter, he was careful when he picked it up. He placed it in a evidence bag and ran out of the office. They got Hillary onto the elevator.

 

“Ma’am, we will informing you about her condition as soon as we get her looked at.”

 

And with that Hillary, and the 2 troopers were gone. Gerry was standing there with blood on her shirt and hands.

 

  
——————————————————

 

 

“Bill!” Betsy came running into the office from the foyer, where she was talking to the head Trooper on Bill’s team. “Bill!” He looked up at her. “They have her, they are taking her to the hospital. It appears she has a deep laceration on her hand, but she is not speaking at all.”

 

Bill shot up from the desk and he ran out of the office, through the foyer, down the steps and into a waiting car. Betsey was right behind him.

 

“Let’s Go!!” She yelled and away they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! 
> 
> Thank you all for being patient with me in regards to updating this fic. I’m hoping to have the follow up on Wednesday. 
> 
> I look forward to your comments!


	19. Hospital Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill gives Hillary an update on what is happening, and he takes a big leap of faith.

She was now in her private room, recovering from the surgery she had to have on her lacerated hand. When the troopers brought her into the ER she was still out of sorts and she was lethargic. Worried about a possible tendon slice in her hand they wasted no time in getting her into an O.R.

  
Bill and Betsey arrived about 20 minutes after Hillary was taken into surgery and they were briefed on her status. Gerry arrived in a complete panic. After she called all of Hillary’s appointments to reschedule she locked up the office and went to pick up Daniel at camp. She wasn’t sure what was happening with Hillary but she wanted to make sure Daniel was okay. However when she arrived at his camp he wasn’t there, the camp counselors told her someone already came to pick him up. Gerry was worried but perhaps Hillary had asked the troopers to pick him up, so she raced over to the hospital.

 

When she arrived she went looking for the information desk, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw the Governor. Something was wrong but she knew in order to get a straight answer she needed a clear head. So she approached Bill, the troopers that were with him tried to stop her from getting to Bill.

 

“I’m sorry ma’am, the Governor is here on a private matter.” One of the young troopers said to her. Betsey turned to see who he was talking to and recognized the older woman.

 

“Officer Gibson, it is alright. She is Dr. Rodham’s secretary.” Betsey held out her hand for Gerry to take.

 

“I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.” Betsey said.

 

“Gerry, it’s Gerry. What’s going on with Hillary, I mean Dr. Rodham?” Gerry sat down across from Betsey. Bill hadn’t noticed her approach or even sit, he was staring at the doors just waiting for the doctor to come out with news.

 

“According to the doctor she had a deep laceration on her hand and they are concerned that it may have sliced her tendon. When they examined her they said she was lethargic.” Betsey was explaining to Gerry.

 

“Yes, well when we arrived this morning at the office she went into her office to read her mail while she waited for her first appointment. Next thing I remember was hearing a loud crash and then Dr. Rodham yelling for me. She was not herself when I got to her, I saw the deep cut and I tried to wrap it up as best I could. I was going to take her to the doctor but when we got to the elevator the state troopers were there. The one young man scooped her up and before I knew it they were gone.” Gerry was replaying the events for Betsey.

 

“Yes, the Governor sent the troopers to check on Dr. Rodham.” Betsey revealed, Gerry didn’t catch it and continued.

 

  
“I even went to pick up Daniel from camp, but when I got there they told me he wasn’t there. I don’t know where he is.” Gerry kept going.

 

“We had some troopers pick him up, he’s at the Governor’s mansion.” Betsey revealed.

 

“You had troopers pick up Daniel? Wait... why did you send troopers to Dr. Rodham’s office?” Gerry was more confused now then before she walked in.

 

“Because someone has threatened hers and Daniel’s life.” A low southern voice spoke, Bill was half listening and he answered without thinking. He was so worried for Hillary and Daniel that he reacted quickly. “Let me explain to you what is happening.” Bill now looking at Gerry.

 

  
—————————

 

Gerry couldn’t believe what she was just told. It didn’t make sense, why would anyone want to hurt her boss. Hillary is kind, she is warm and she is always willing to help. ‘No, this doesn’t make sense.’ She kept saying it over and over again to herself.

 

“I received a letter as well, that is how I knew she was in danger.” Bill spoke softly. He hung his head, knowing why this was happening but not willing to admit it, not willing to put voice to thought. He couldn’t.

 

Just as Gerry was about to ask a question the doctor emerged from behind the doors that Bill had been staring at. Bill sprung to his feet.

 

“Doctor how is she?” Bill wasted no time.

 

“She is fine. The surgery went well, we were able to repair her laceration, and there was no tendon damage at all. Which is excellent news. She will be in a lot of pain for a while, the cut was very deep and she won’t have full use of her hand for a bit while the stitches are in, but this is a really good outcome and I’m confident she’ll be able to head home either later today or early tomorrow. We want to monitor the wound to make sure no infection happens.” Betsey, Gerry and Bill listened intently.

 

“May I see her?” Bill immediately asked.

 

“Well she is still coming out of the anesthesia, but I don’t see why not Governor. Here I’ll take you back to see her.” The doctor motioned towards the doors. Bill turned to Betsey and Gerry.

 

“I’ll check on her.”

 

The women just nodded, each of them knew what was going on between Bill and Hillary but neither knew that the other knew.

  


————————

 

As they approached Hillary’s room the doctor explained to Bill it might be a little while before she is coherent.

 

He entered her room and saw her sleeping form, thankful and so grateful that she was safe and okay. He pulled up a chair next to her and he held her hand and just watched her an waited. Waited for her to wake up and he be the first thing she saw. Nurses came in and out but Hillary still hadn’t woken up.

 

He was admiring how beautiful she looked sleeping and in a restful place, she was even more beautiful than he ever realized. He sat and reflected, reflected on his life, both current and past. This was his fault. He had to fix it.

 

He was in deep thought rubbing her hand, when he felt it... her hand slightly squeeze his, and he looked up and saw her beautiful blue eyes staring deeply into his.

 

“Hi.” It was all he could say.

 

“Hi.” She smiled slightly. “What happened?” She asked.

 

“You had a little accident, you sliced your hand open pretty bad and they had to repair the damage. You are in the hospital.” Bill was gentle in his explanation, so as not to frighten her.

 

“I dropped my tea cup, and I tried to catch it but it broke before I could catch it.” She was still a bit groggy. “Bill! I need to call Gerry, I need to tell her I am okay.” She was worried about her friend.

 

“Shhh... it’s okay she is here, and before you ask Daniel is safe at the mansion.” Bill put his hand on her forehead.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Bill pondered if now was the right time to discuss what he knew she read in her office. He didn’t know quite yet how to fix it... he would do everything in his power to protect her. He had too.

 

  
“Hillary what do you remember before the tea cup fell?” Bill inhaled deep.

 

“I was waiting for a patient, and going through some mail.” Hillary plainly stated.

 

“Do you remember what was in the mail?” Bill waited for her to respond, rubbing her forehead, feeling his heart swell with even more love for her.

 

“No I don’t, I remember opening a lavender colored envelope but I wasn’t able to read it before I dropped that damn tea cup and saucer.” Hillary frustrated at her clumsy self.

 

Bill was taken aback, how did she not read the letter... How did she not read the letter? He read it the minute the trooper put it in his hand.

“

Hillary... we need to talk.” Bill’s face went serious but his hand was still on her forehead.

 

He smiled at her then walked to the door of her room, all she could hear was Bill’s voice and another voice but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Bill after just a few moments came back into the room with a folder in his hand, he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing but it was better she knew what was going on now and it was better that Bill be the one that told her.

 

  
“Hillary there are some things I want to show you, I don’t know if I am doing the right thing here but you need to know. I am going to show you 2 letters, the first was sent directly to me and the other was sent directly to you. It was in fact the letter you were about to read before the accident.” Bill took out a sheet of paper from the folder and took a deep breath before handing it to Hillary for her to read. He thought, _‘No going back now Bill, your millions of broken pieces are about to cut her even deeper.’_

 

She took the paper and began to read.

 

  
_Governor,_  
You made a very terrible mistake when you tossed me aside like I was nothing more than trash to you, a slut that you could just simply use and then toss. I am better than that and I deserve better than that, and you will pay for it.  
I know all about your newest shall we say, “fling”. I know where she works, I know where she lives, I know where she takes her son, I know the routes she takes. Don’t think for one moment that I would hesitate to make her pay for taking you from me. You should have been more careful Governor! You shouldn’t have been so open with her at the carnival and the other night when she left the mansion. Do you think she knows what kind of man you are? Do you think she knows how you use woman and then toss them like trash? Or better yet... what do you think she would do to protect her son?  
I think it is high time the press and people of this state know just what kind of man their Governor truly is. Doubt you’ll win re-election after this story breaks.

_Remember William I am watching you, and I am watching her._

 

  
Hillary put her hand over her mouth. She looked up at Bill and he saw fright in her eyes, but he had to show her the other letter. She needed to see, even if it meant he could lose her forever. He didn’t say a word and handed her the second note.

 

  
Her note wasn’t as personal it was short a simple to the point.

 

  
_Bill is mine!  
If you know what is good for you and your son you’ll back off!_

 

  
Hillary handed Bill back the notes and she looked down at her hands, the left now heavily bandaged. She didn’t speak she just took some time to collect herself, and Bill stood there almost afraid to look at her or to even speak to her. He knew this was his fault, he knew this was of his own making and doing. How does he hold onto her now? Now that some crazy person has threatened her and her son, who are completely innocent.

 

She had to absorb everything, she couldn’t and wouldn’t be one of those women who overreacts nor would she be intimidated by anyone.

The longer she remained silent, the more he lowered his head. However he was going to be bold, and put his heart on his sleeve.

 

“Would you and Daniel like to stay at the Governor’s mansion for a bit while the Troopers investigate? If you’d rather be in your own house I can understand that, but just know that I will be having troopers stationed outside your house until this ends.” He took the leap, would she be jumping with him or would she shy away.

 

She looked up at him, her brilliant bright blue eyes met his slightly grey blue ones and her face softened.

 

“Yes. I would like that.” Hillary simply answered. She was falling in love with him, she couldn’t stop that trajectory now, the pieces on the board were already moving. Plus, no one was going to intimidate Hillary Rodham.

 

Bill smiled wide, his heart warm and he was grateful.

 

“Take me home Bill.” A new level of their relationship was about to begin.

 

Without another word he went and asked the doctor if he could take her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost made my Wednesday deadline to post by Wednesday, missed it by 4 minutes. I may have gotten distracted by the Olympics. 
> 
> I am not sure I am super happy with this update, so please let me know what you think.
> 
> I will try and update as soon as possible, because the next chapter.... we might just get some bowchickawowwow!


	20. Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hillary will be recovering at the Governor’s Mansion, and the healing process gets off to a perfect start!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!!!!!! The chapter you have all been waiting for and the one I was most looking forward to writing. I won’t say any more than that I will just let you all read and hopefully enjoy. Don’t forget to comment below and tell me your thoughts. XOXO

They left the hospital around 4 in the afternoon, the doctor wasn’t to keen on releasing her so soon but Bill had persuaded him. He promised that she wouldn’t be left alone and that he would make sure if anything changed he would have no problem getting her back to the hospital in a very timely manner. It does pay to have that police escort.

 

On the way back to the Governor’s Mansion, Hillary was resting gently against his chest, the medicine had made her a bit woozy and tired. She knew she was lucky, lucky to have this man in her life that made sure she was safe and protected, that her son was safe and protected.

 

Yes, she could be mad at him that his reckless past had caused her to have to uproot her life. Yes, she could be mad that his reckless past could be endangering her. Yes, she could be mad that his reckless past could be endangering her son. However, she wasn’t mad... she couldn’t be. She knew his demons, she knew his heart and the two were not mutually exclusive, Bill was not a bad man at all, he was a hurt and broken man. She can’t be mad at him that someone broke him, no, but what she can be... is the one to heal and fix him. After all, that’s what love is all about, learning to overcome what seems like the impossible in order to get to the happy ending.

 

“Bill, do they have a lead as too who may have sent the notes?” She broke through the silence, she broke through his thoughts.

 

“Not yet, but I have provided the troopers a list.” His jaw clenched and he felt shame. She noticed it and reached her hand to his cheek, signaling that she understood his frustration and she wanted him to know it was going to be alright.

 

For the rest of the ride to the Governor’s mansion they were silent, they didn’t have to speak any words, they just relished each other’s presence. Albeit for different reasons. The car made it’s way into the gates and into a covered structure so as not to draw attention to his guest, from either the press or other prying eyes. He set it up that way, he still wasn’t sure who was watching so he wanted to be as careful with her as possible.

 

Upon entering the mansion a familiar sound echoed into Hillary’s ears, it was the sound of her beautiful boy running to greet her.

 

“Mommy!”

 

As soon as she saw he she kneeled down to accept him in her embrace.

 

“Hello my little explorer.” She placed a kiss on his cheek. “How was camp?”

 

“Well it was okay, Mr. Bill’s friends came and got me and brought me here. (He whisper to Hillary but Bill could hear it.). This place is way cooler than camp.”

 

Bill let out a chuckle as did Hillary.

 

“Hi, Mr. Bill.”

 

“Hi Daniel, I take you are enjoying yourself at the mansion?” Bill put his hand out for Daniel to high five.

 

“Yes, Mr. Bill I am. It is so big and so many places for Wilbur and me to explore.”

 

The three laughed.

 

Betsey was standing off to the side just watching them, she smiled, they looked like a family. She could see Bill’s heart growing bigger by the second around Daniel, she could see his whole demeanor change in the presence of that sweet little boy. Bill was indeed falling in love with Hillary there was no denying nor stopping that now, but he was also falling head over heels in love with her son. Betsey always knew he wanted to be a father, from the day she met him that was something he would always talk about. Finding the right woman to settle down with and start a family, he had finally found the right woman.

 

“How about we have some supper and Daniel how would you both like to stay here for a couple of days?” Bill asked Daniel.

 

Daniel’s eyes grew big, he looked at his mother who was of course smiling at his reaction.

 

“Mommy, can we?”

 

“I think it would be a fantastic idea, it’s the one part of Little Rock you haven’t explored yet.”

 

Daniel started jumping up and down just proclaiming, “Yes, yes, yes, yes! I got to tell Wilbur!” And with that Daniel was off to look for his best friend.

 

Bill helped Hillary to her feet.

 

“Well, I think he is excited.” Bill said with a smile as he looked in the direction Daniel ran off too, and placing his arm around her shoulder.

 

Hillary looked up at Bill, she studied him carefully, he was glowing!

 

“Just a bit.” She smiled up at Bill and their eyes met, without realizing who was around them. He leaned his head down and kissed her softly on her lips and she put her arm around his waist.

 

Betsey smiled, and quietly left the room without being noticed.

 

  
—————————————

 

 

The three of them had dinner, then Bill took Daniel and Wilbur around the grounds of the mansion while Hillary watched from the back terrace. She was sitting there with a cup of coffee just marveling at the sights, when Betsey came and sat down with her.

 

“Hello Betsey.”

 

“Hi Hillary, how are you feeling?”

 

“Still in a good amount of pain, mostly throbbing and slight stinging.”

 

“Well it was quite the cut, you just make sure you take care of that. An infection would be bad.”

 

“I will.”

 

The ladies smiled and turned back to look at Bill, Daniel and Wilbur playing.

 

“Hillary I hope I don’t overstep here but, Bill and your son look amazing together.”

 

Hillary looked at Betsey and then back at Bill and Daniel she just looked, really looked. Betsey continued to talk and Hillary just observed.

 

“He is a natural with children, ever since I have know him all he ever talked about was running for office and starting a family. The running for office part was easy, he is a natural politician. The family part much harder. I knew he had deep pain and darkness inside but he never spoke about it, you can see it sometimes hiding behind his eyes. That all changed the day you came into his life. (Hillary turned to look at Betsey and Betsey smiled at her.). You are healing him.”

 

“No Betsey, he is healing himself.”

 

“Healing himself of his past perhaps you are right, but, you are healing him in a different way in a different place.”

 

“Betsey, I...”

 

“I know, you cannot talk about a patients care, I wouldn’t dream of asking you too. He has been my best friend for so long I just want him to be alright. It’s why I pushed him so hard to seek counseling, it had nothing to do with his political career. Yes it was important to protect that... but not as important as his health. I know what he witnessed between his mother and his step father, I know the pain he has hid away because of it. I know why he is afraid to commit to just one person. You are changing that in him, as is that beautiful little boy of yours.”

 

Hillary took in everything Betsey said and she picked up on something that Bill had not opened up about yet. ‘I know what he witnessed’, what did Bill see that he had yet to share with her. Yes, her doctor mode kicked on. She needed the answer, but for now she just watched Bill and Daniel.

 

  
————————————-

 

 

Bill and Hillary both took Daniel up to the room he would be staying in while they stayed here for a few days. Hillary tucked him and Wilbur in and kissed his forehead and left the room.

Now what?

 

As if he read her mind...

 

“Hillary if you don’t mind I am going to step into the shower and clean up.”

 

“Oh, right of course I will just head back to my room and look over some paper work I need to get finished.”

 

“If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask the staff they are here to make you feel as comfortable as possible. I will see you tomorrow morning at breakfast?”

 

“Yes, and thank you again for letting us stay here.”

 

He came to her tilted her head up and kissed her.

 

“Anything for you.”

 

Then he was off too his room and he waved at her before he entered the room. She entered her room, sat down on the bed and began to sort through her paperwork.

 

_‘Hillary! What are you doing? The man of your dreams is not but 10 feet away right now naked in a shower and you are here reading paperwork. It’s pathetic! I mean yes he is taking the relationship slow, trying to focus on his healing but my god.... you have needs too. Whose to say he can’t still heal and be a part of you at the same time? You’ve never been a conventional therapist... go get what you want, what you need and damnit what is yours.’_

 

Her mind wouldn’t turn off, she was fighting a losing battle. She was no longer falling in love with Bill, no, she was IN love now. Head over heels, crazy in love with this man and she could no longer fight or hide it. She got up off the bed and sorted through the trunk of clothes Gerry had brought over for her, within minutes she found what she was looking for. Fire red bra and the matching panties, she quickly put the garments on and wrapped her silk robe around her.

 

She slowly opened her door and looked into the hallway to make sure no one may be around or watching and she tip toed down to Bill’s door. She placed her ear on the door to see if she might be able to hear if the shower was still running or if he was walking around in the room. She heard nothing, so with her heart beating quickly she opened his door slowly and looked in. The room seemed empty and upon further investigating she saw the door to what she assumed was his wash room and light illuminated it.

 

She slipped inside the room, softly closed the door behind her and locked it.

 

She saw a bench at the foot of the bed that was perfect to sit on and wait for him, it was in direct line to the wash room so when he came out he would be greeted by her sitting there.... waiting for him.... she positioned herself on the bench. Sitting side ways leg crossed over the other, hiking her robe cuff up just to the top of her thigh so he would get just a hint. She stayed like that until she heard the water turn off. Her heart was racing, and then slight doubt set in.

 

_‘What if he just isn’t ready for this yet? What if the reason he didn’t make his move the other night was because he just isn’t ready?’_

 

Before her thoughts could tell her to revolt, the door to his washroom was opening.

 

_‘No turning back now Hillary.’_

 

He was drying his hair with a separate towel while another one was wrapped around his waist and his bare chest was ever present. She was fairly certain she had never seen a more handsome frame in all her life.

 

  
—————————————-

 

  
Bill finished drying his hair and placed the towel around his neck and began to walk out of the washroom when he stopped dead in his tracks.

 

He was dreaming... right? I mean he had to be. Was she really there, now, in his room waiting for him.

 

His and her eyes were locked on to one another, they weren’t letting go. She was savoring him and he was praying he wasn’t dreaming.

 

Someone had to break the tension in the room, it was almost to much for either.

 

“Am I dreaming?” He said slightly above a whisper.

 

She smiled and answered. “No.”

 

He swallowed hard and his jaw was clenching like crazy.

 

“I don’t understand.” Yes, he was still whispering. His brain was not fully registering where he was right now.

 

“I have been doing a lot of thinking lately... (She stood up and started to walk towards him, his Adam’s apple was working over time when he saw what she was wearing. Within seconds she was standing in front of his bare chest yet again.) Bill, I am no longer falling in love with you.”

 

His eyes looked now even more confused and the confusion spread down into his handsome face, oh god was he handsome. She smiled again at his reaction to her words, she reached up and grabbed the towel from around his neck and slipped it off and put it down on the floor.

 

“I am truly... madly... deeply...”. With each pause between words she caressed his soft muscular chest. “In love with you.” She then removed her gaze from his chest and looked up into his eyes with her hooded ones.

 

He was speechless. He didn’t have the right words to articulate all the feelings and emotions going on in his body and head. So instead he responded by placing his thumb and forefinger on her chin, bent his head down and kissed her as passionately and romantically as he possibly could.

 

Her response... she took his hand and lead him over to the bed.

 

If there was ever an example of a dizzy man walking it was in this moment right now and he still wasn’t sure if he was dreaming.

 

She stopped them and turned to face him again.

 

“Make love to me Bill.”

 

She untied her robe, slipped it off to reveal her lace garments. He saw stars, there was no other way to describe it and he was pretty sure his heart was beating out of his chest.

 

Without further hesitation he put his right hand on her cheek, she closed her eyes when she felt his hand. Almost like a sigh of relief that her leap of faith had not back fired on her. He studied her face, then he placed his forehead onto hers.

 

“Are you sure?” Still whispering, he needed to make sure.

 

“Yes.” The answer came without a single ounce of hesitation.

 

He took her lips onto his and his right hand moved to the back on her head. While his left was now wrapped around her waist and resting on her lower back. She was more beautiful than he ever could have imagined.

 

His lips traveled down to her chin, to the underside and then down her throat. He was going slow and careful, if this was a dream he was going to savor every damn minute of it. He moved his lips along her jaw line, up to her ear lobe, then down her neck to her collar bone. She was letting out the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. Slight whimpers with every touch of his lips on her skin, which right now felt like it was on fire.

 

She stood there silent and still allowed Bill to set the pace and allowed him to explore her body. While his lips were kissing soft flesh his finger tips were lightly stroking up and down her back. She had never had a man touch her this way, this way Bill was touching her, it felt like he was worshiping her. Her hands instinctively moved to his abs then up to his chest.

 

He came back to her lips and without a warning he picked her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. He carried her over to the foot of the bed and he very gently laid her on her back. He went to straighten his back and she came forward and grabbed his neck and kissed him hard. The action caused Bill to put his right hand through her hair. Finally she broke the kiss.

 

Being mindful of her injured hand she scooted back on the bed a bit waiting for Bill to join her, her heart was beating so fast.

 

Bill stood before her and he kept his eyes locked onto her as he removed the towel that was wrapped around his waist. Now he was totally bare before her, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous for her to see all of him. Not that he wasn’t, shall we say, gifted in the lower department. No he was nervous for so many other reasons. Would he be able to contain himself long enough? Would he be able to bring her pleasure? Could he live up to his own hype?

 

Hillary slowly started to lower her gaze and Bill just stood there and watched her, watch her absorb his naked form. Finally her eyes landed on his semi erect manhood, he never took his eyes off of her. She bit her lower lip and smiled ever go slightly, and he almost came undone. He then started to crawl up to her lips.

 

He kissed her lips then went to her breast plate and she placed her finger over his lips to stop him, without missing a beat she had pushed him onto his back with her right hand and straddled his abs. His hands were up by either side of his head for a moment and he was just drinking in the sight of her straddled above him. She was gorgeous and then she reached behind her to unhook her bra. His breathing became more intense in anticipation of her baring herself to him.

 

She was able to unlatch the closure in the back despite the use of only one hand, and she seductively let the straps fall down from her shoulders. She had not shown this side of her body to anyone since the last time she was with her ex husband, and then it was a bing bang boom done scenario. The passion had long since gone by then. She folded her arms over her breast not yet willing to expose the flesh underneath the fabric. He saw the nervous look in her eyes, he saw the pain in her eyes, the pain that came from a man’s wandering eye. He took his left hand to her cheek and slowly rubbed it with his thumb.

 

“Hillary.”

 

She looked deep in his eyes, he was trying to convey a message that didn’t need to be spoken.

 

“Let me see you.”

 

She slowly uncrossed her arms and allowed the garment to fall into her hands. He didn’t look at first, they kept their eye contact the entire time the garment was falling from her flesh. When his eyes finally broke from hers and traveled down as did his hand, tracing the path of his vision. She watched him drink her in.

 

When his eyes finally made it to her breast, he inhaled and then exhaled deeply. He took his index finger and with the gentle touch of his fingertip he ran it in between her breast. She shut her eyes for a moment, the touch was sensual, it was gentle, it was erotic. Bill sat himself up and before she could register what was happening his took one of her semi hardened nipples into his warm mouth and her back arched at the contact. He didn’t rush, no, no, he made love to the pink flesh with his mouth. His hands were resting on her mid back, fingers splayed, feeling her shutters of breath, feeling her back arch. He moved to the next nipple and repeated his ministrations, he hand went into his hair.

 

He could feel what his attention to the upper half of her body was doing to her lower half, the dampness was apparent, the motion of her hips was apparent. She threw her head back a bit and Bill put his lips on her throat. He came back to her lips and kissed her more passionately then he had all night, finally he broke from her for air. He looked deep into her eyes...

 

“Hillary, I need to be inside you.”

 

It was more a ask than a statement.

 

She went to move her leg off him but he halted her. She looked at him confused.

 

He slid his hand down her stomach, over the front of her panties, down to her thigh and then to the fabric blocking his path. He pulled the fabric to the side. Lifted her up, and positioned his manhood at her entrance. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, she slightly tensed.

 

“Look at me Hillary. Don’t think about anything else, just look into my eyes.”

 

She nodded.

 

He wanted to see her face, her expression, her eyes when they finally would join and become one.

 

He slowed lowered her hips until he felt the tip of his manhood enter her. She moaned, to him it was the most beautiful sound in the world. They never broke eye contact. He waited a bit because he wasn’t sure if she needed time to adjust to his girth, but before he could continue to set the pace.... she slid herself down around him fully. She tried to keep eye contact but the feeling of him filling her was indescribable and she threw her head back.

 

He kissed every bit of exposed neck and throat he could, what she was feeling so was he. She felt incredible around him... almost perfect. As if this woman... this goddess, was made just for him.

 

Finally she began to move, her body had relaxed and adjusted to him inside her. The movements were slow and passionate, their bodies were touching chest to chest, their breathing heavy, the eyes locked on to one another.

 

When she asked him to make love to her she wasn’t expecting him to actually do it, she assumed it would be hard and quick. That’s how it had been nearing the end of her marriage, it was a obligation, a wifely duty. Nothing more. To be completely honest it was like that almost all throughout their marriage, Matthew never made love to her... he would have sex with her. Bill was Matthew’s complete opposite.

 

“I love you.” It broke the wordless silence, she had now made her feelings official.

 

Bill smiled, and a tear sprung from the owner of his eye. Without hesitation flipped them over so Hillary was now resting on her back and Bill was over top. She saw the tear and she placed her hand up on his cheek and moved her lips to kiss it away.

 

He slowly pushed in and out of her.

 

“I love you, Hillary.”

 

Moments later, his pace quickened and her body began to clamp down around him.

 

“Together.” He said and didn’t need to elaborate, she knew what he meant.

 

Staring deep into each other’s eyes they boy found their release. Stars erupting from the back of their eyes. Their breathing was heavy.

 

He placed his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. He placed his hand on her breast plate to help her still her breathing.

 

“Take a deep breath in... good, now a push it out.”

 

He helped her repeat that until her heart was steady and her breath normal. He slid is softened manhood out from her and then laid on his back next to her. She turned on her side and snuggled up on his chest and his hand went around her instinctively. With her chin rest on his chest she was looking up at him and just drinking him in again. He looked down at her and smiled.

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“I was just admiring.” She responded.

 

“Oh yeah? What are you admiring?” He asked looking down at her.

 

“How handsome you are.”

 

“Oh stop, you’re going to make me blush.” He placed his hand on his chest while saying it, and they both laughed.

 

“You are beautiful, you know that?” He asked her.

 

“Flattery will get you everywhere sir.” She replied.

 

“Good, I was counting on it.” Bill smiled and then they burst out in laughter.

 

  
——————————

 

 

The rest of the night was spent making love and talking in between, they both knew now things were more complicated for them but they would worry about that tomorrow. For tonight... it was just them and the joining of their souls.


	21. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Hillary And Bill made love is filled with joy and light, but what they don’t know is darkness is lurking.

A dark car sat across the street from Dr. Hillary Rodham’s home, with one occupant, dressed in all black. Waiting for the arrival of the owner of the old Victorian home.Dawn was approaching and still no Dr. Rodham, the occupant of the car growing increasingly more angry as the night rolled into the early morning. 

 

_‘I know where you are you tramp!’_

Anger.

Hate.

Rage.

 

————————————————————

 

 

Meanwhile, across town, the soft touch of the Southern morning sun was bathing the two occupants of the Governor’s bed in a beautiful glow and a hue of orange and yellow.Hillary was wrapped around Bill, she laid across his broad chest and Bill’s arm wrapped around her upper back with his hand resting on her soft shoulder blade.Heaven.That’s what it felt like for them wrapped in each other’s arms.Heaven is what it was. 

 

It was early, the Governor’s Mansion was still quiet, only sound that could be heard in that room was the bird’s singing outside and the soft breathing of it’s occupants.The sun was directly touching Hillary’s exposed bare back and as it got warmer she began to stir.She blinked open her eyes to find a muscular bare chest, she smiled... then she shot upright. 

 

_‘Oh shit, oh shit.I stayed in here all night.Oh god, oh god.’_

 

Bill feeling the shift in the bed, opened his eyes to she a full head of blonde hair twisting about.Her back now facing him, he reached up and placed his large hand on the middle of her back.She didn’t tense when she felt his hand, no, she relaxed instead.

 

“Good morning.”He expressed with such relaxation.

 

She turned her torso to look at him.

 

“Well good morning to you also.”

 

“How are you feeling?”His voice adorable and groggy.

 

Hillary smiled and took an intake of breath.

 

“Incredible.What about you?”

 

Bill looked deep into her eyes, his heart was filled with a joy he hadn’t experienced before. 

 

“Over the moon.”

 

She smiled and then leaned down to kiss him.He was easy to kiss, he was easy to just be with and to be wrapped in his arms after a night of intense love making was indescribable.Hillary could try and tell herself that she experienced this before but that wouldn’t be truthful, being with Bill felt like nothing she had felt before.

 

“I should probably get dressed and head back to my room before someone sees me.” 

 

Bill looked over at the clock on his side table, it read 5:27.

 

“The mansion staff doesn’t usually start their day until quarter to 7, so we have some more time together.... just us.”Bill responded.

 

“Bill, if someone sees me leave this room early in the morning they might talk and make trouble for you and I don’t want that for you.Plus, there is Daniel to consider.”

 

Bill sat up and kissed her bare shoulder.

“Are you regretting what we did last night?”

 

He then began to move toward the middle of her shoulder blades.All he could hear was her gasp.

 

Hillary closed her eyes as his lips touched her bare skin, she couldn’t resist his touch nor did she want too. 

 

“No, I don’t.Not for a single second.”Hillary responded in a breathless voice, as Bill moved to the back of her neck and then up to her ear.She moved her head and within an instant their lips had met.It was slow and passionate. 

 

As Bill slowly pulled away from her lips, he placed his hand gently on her cheek and looked deep into her amazing blue eyes.

 

“Listen to me, don’t you worry about making trouble for me, or what it might look like for me.I can handle all of that, but what I could not handle is you regretting what is happening between us.Because I don’t.”Bill explained.

 

Before either one could stop the other, they were once again kissing.Bill put his arms around her and maneuvered her on her back.Kissing as much of her soft skin as he could. 

 

They made love again and it was magical.The sparks between them were growing ever more powerful and what has been set in motion would almost be impossible to stop at this point. 

 

Afterward they both took showers, Hillary was silently hoping that she would be able to leave his room without anybody seeing.She of course heard what Bill said but she wasn’t ready for people to know, that her heart was stolen by this incredible man.

 

Hillary was wrapping a robe around herself when she looked at Bill’s naked back with a towel draped around his waist.It was so damn difficult not to stare, his body was smooth and his muscles were just enough to drive her wild.She had to break the trance or else they’d be going for round 3.

 

“Bill, I’m going to the office today.”

 

Bill turned to her.

 

“Darlin, we still don’t know who wrote those threats.”

 

“I know.But my patients need me Bill, some of them are alone and scared, some have gone through horrific trauma.Those letters were nothing compared to what they have gone through.And I’m no coward.”

 

She was sitting on edge of the tub, Bill came and stood before her, he softly placed his hand on her cheek yet again that morning.Those hands... they were quickly turning into her weakness.

 

“No, you certainly are not a coward.Will you at least allow me to have 2 troopers sit outside just in case?I already made arrangements to have one with Daniel while he is at camp.”

 

She looked up at him, smiling she stood up.

 

“I can agree to that.”

 

She rose up on her toes and kissed him.

 

“I’m going to go back to my room and get dressed and then get Daniel up.”

 

He smiled and begrudgingly let go of her.

 

“I will meet you both downstairs for breakfast.” 

 

She stood in front of him a moment longer.Finally her feet allowed her to move from his presence, Bill watched her as she left the bathroom.When he heard his bedroom door close he released a breath. 

 

She tip-toed back to her room and slipped inside, when she shut the door behind her she leaned her back against it and the biggest smile appeared on her face. 

 

————————

 

The hustle and bustle of the Governor’s mansion had begun, folks were now coming and going, the staff was beginning their daily routines and it was business as normal.Hillary and Daniel went through their morning routine like they always do, not missing a beat just because they were guests in this amazing house.

 

Bill had already gotten dressed in his suit and was downstairs waiting for Hillary and Daniel in the dinning room for breakfast.It all seemed so normal yet it was far from it, the circumstances that lead to where they are now was anything but normal.Bill was quietly trying to uncover who the letters came from.To be honest with himself he knew this day would come, the day where his past would catch up to him, he wished it wasn’t at a time when he was courting a woman.Hillary was no ordinary woman however, she was incredibly special and he be damned if anyone would try and harm her.He was lost in his thoughts with a cup of coffee in hand when he heard the sound of tiny foot steps approaching, to be honest it was a beautiful sound. 

 

Daniel a whirlwind of energy had entered the dinning room.

 

“Good morning Mr. Bill.”

 

Bill turned and smiled when he heard that angelic voice of her son, the mini version of the woman that was stealing his heart away.

 

“And a good morning to you too master explorer.How did you and Wilbur sleep?”

 

“Well, Wilbur was a little scared.”

 

“Oh no.”

 

“It’s okay though, I told him we would be safe here.He’s never been away from home overnight.”

 

“Well, (Bill kneeled down to Daniel.) you let Wilbur know that if he feels scared again to let me know right away.”

 

“I will!Mr. Bill after camp can we go exploring more?It was fun yesterday.”

 

Bill stood up and picked Daniel up.

 

“I don’t see why not, maybe we will find a hidden treasure.”

 

Daniel’s eyes lit up.

 

“Or maybe dinosaur bones, mommy got me a book that says they might be buried in the ground.” 

 

(Hillary was standing just outside the dinning room, listening to Bill and Daniel bond, and her heart began to melt.)

 

“You are right, they are called fossils and I think we should most certainly try and find some.”

 

“I can’t wait to tell Wilbur.”

 

Bill smiled and put Daniel down in his chair.

 

Hillary then entered into the dinning room, Bill immediately looked up at her, she was glowing, he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of her.Nor for that matter could see from him, the tension was incredible.

 

“Good morning Dr. Rodham.”His smile wide.

 

“Good morning Governor Clinton.”Her smile equally as wide.

 

Daniel watched the two of them, with some confusion.

 

“Mommy! Mommy!After camp Mr. Bill said that he would take me exploring to look for dinosaur...”. He looked up at Bill who was still staring at his mom, trying to remember the word he used.Bill looked down at him.

 

“Fossils.”

 

Daniel smiled.

 

“Yeah, dinosaur fossils.”

 

Hillary smiled at her son, knowing his imagination was running wild with the thought of digging and finding dinosaur bones.

 

“That sounds like it will be a very fun adventure.”

 

They sat together and had breakfast, Daniel could not stop talking to Bill about dinosaurs and their fossils.He was incredibly fascinated by it.Hillary couldn’t help but smile and the bonding the two were doing, it warmed her heart.

 

 

————————————-

 

Gerri arrived at the office at her normal time, she assumed that Hillary would be coming to work, she wasn’t told anything of the contrary.As she exited the elevator she heard the phone on her desk ringing, she quickly made her way over to the desk and answered the phone.

 

“Good morning thank you for calling the office of Dr. Hillary Rodham, my name is Gerri how many I assist you?”

 

“Hello and good morning, I was wondering if the Doctor was seeing any new patients and if so when could I schedule an appointment?”

 

“Yes, Dr. Rodham is accepting new patients.What is your name?”

 

The person on the other end hesitated a moment, then answered.

 

“My name is Monica.”

 

“Hello Monica, to better schedule you an appointment with Dr. Rodham could you give me a brief description for why you would like to become a patient?”

 

“I was given Dr. Rodham’s name from my local women’s shelter, my boyfriend is abusive and a few weeks ago he.... (The young woman began to cry.) He raped me.”

 

“Oh dear girl, let me see what she has available alright?”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Gerri looks at the schedule and she notices that Hillary has an opening today.

 

“Monica, it looks like Dr. Rodham has an opening today at 2:45, would you be able to do that?”

 

More tears on the other end.

 

“Yes, thank you so much.”

 

“You are very welcome, would it be alright if you told me your last name?”

 

“Adesso, my last name is Adesso.”

 

“Alright Monica we will see you at 2:45, try to get here a little early if you can.”

 

“I will, thank you.”

 

“You are welcome.We will see you later today.Goodbye.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

Gerri hung up, and put her hand over her chest.No matter how many times she heard young female voices call seeking Dr. Rodham’s help for those same situations it never gets any easier to hear the pain.

 

However the voice on the other end was not one of those young in pain voices. 

 

The voice on the other end, is a cold and calculated liar.And her mission is to destroy the relationship Hillary has with Bill.Sitting outside Hillary’s home all night wasn’t enough, she will stop at nothing to destroy them both.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long delay in updating the Fic, been dealing with a lot of personal issues and a pretty bad case of writers block.
> 
> I love this fandom so much, because I love Bill and Hillary so much and I was upset to see that we aren’t seeing a ton of new Fanfics or updates and it hurts my heart. So I pushed through my block and updated.  
> I really hope we can encourage more writers to come back to the fandom and bring in new writers. 
> 
> Also I was going to take this story in a whole different direction but after the latest Monica Lewinsky drama I decided to change it up a bit. I will defend Hillary and Bill till the end, and I know this fandom will too.
> 
> If you know a fic writer who is hibernating...... reread some of their fics and post words of encouragement to get them back into it. 
> 
> Hugs and love to you all.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me this afternoon just out of nowhere, I hope you all like this neat little Billary twist. 
> 
> I'm still hoping to find my creative voice again with Agent 0042, I know how I want the story to proceed but I'm just having trouble getting there. 
> 
> Hugs to you all and I hope you enjoy the new story.


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